Will Cuppy - How to Attract the Wombat (1949)

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An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't?

Will Cuppy
Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A. D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything would be all right. It wasn't.

Will Cuppy
Then there's the law that any person found carrying a Swanhook, the same being neither a Swanherd in good standing nor accompanied by two certified Swanherds, or Swannerds (or Swanners, or Swanmasters), of known probity, should cough up thirteen shillings fourpence, three shillings fourpence going to the informer and the rest to the King. This looked like a fine bit of legislation until it developed that you can't collect from such people. They haven't got it. That's why they're out stealing Swans.

Will Cuppy
The Ancient Egyptians considered it good luck to meet a swarm of Bees on the road. What they considered bad luck I couldn't say.

Will Cuppy
Entomologists are people who want Ants around. If there are no Ants around, they will go where Ants are.

Will Cuppy
You are a bug only if you belong to the order Hemiptera, formerly the suborder Heteroptera. Is that clear now?

Will Cuppy
His kick is less severe than that of the Ostrich, which easily breaks a man's leg. The Emu's kick seldom breaks more than the fibula, the smaller bone of the leg, leaving the tibia in first-class condition.

Will Cuppy
I am often asked why Mosquitoes hum loudest when close to one's ear. I don't know.

Will Cuppy
As a rule fish in their native element do not remain stationary for any length of time, especially when something is chasing them.

Will Cuppy
Octopuses do not develop their minds. They get by and that's all they care.

Will Cuppy