Will Cuppy - People Quotes

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Just when you're beginning to think pretty well of people, you run across somebody who puts sugar on sliced tomatoes.

Will Cuppy
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.

Will Cuppy
They [the Pilgrim Fathers] believed in freedom of thought for themselves and for all other people who believed exactly as they did.

Will Cuppy
It is the chief function of the ichthyologists, or fish people, to keep pointing out, day after day, the perfect fitness of fish for existence in a liquid medium. And they're right, at that. But I sometimes think that if fish were not well adapted for an aquatic life — if they were square, say — then it would be time to talk.

Will Cuppy
Entomologists are people who want Ants around. If there are no Ants around, they will go where Ants are.

Will Cuppy
Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal.

Will Cuppy
It's easy to see the faults in people, I know; and it's harder to see the good. Especially when the good isn't there.
Footnote

Will Cuppy
Most of the original group [of elephants] succumbed to the climate, and he [Hannibal] was always begging Carthage for more, but the people at home were stingy. They would ask if he thought they were made of elephants and what he had done with the elephants they sent before. Sometimes, when he hadn't an elephant to his name, he would manage to wangle a few from somewhere, a feat which strikes me as his greatest claim to our attention.

Will Cuppy
All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people.

Will Cuppy
Captain Smith reached Virginia on April 26, 1607, with a number of English gentlemen and some people who were willing to work. Then they all held a meeting to discuss ways and means of civilizing everybody. They made a great many speeches and accused each other of various crimes and misdemeanors and arrested some of themselves as an object lesson, and American history was started at last.

Will Cuppy
Pericles was the people's friend. [Footnote: The very poorest citizens had a chance to become President, but somehow they didn't. It may have been just a coincidence.] He was so fond of the people that he paid them to go to the Assembly and vote, and they were so fond of him that they elected him year after year.

Will Cuppy
Philip [II of Spain] was a great believer in diplomacy, or the art of lying. He fooled some of the people some of the time.

Will Cuppy
Most people erroneously call this snake the Puff Adder, Beach Adder, or Blowing Viper. So, naturally, they kill it.

Will Cuppy
Whenever he [Charlemagne] decided to help somebody's morals, people would bury their small change and hide in the swamps and forests.

Will Cuppy
The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped so that the Lion can not see him. These people believe that the stripes of the Zebra simulate the bars of sunlight falling through the tall jungle grasses and that therefore the Zebra is invisible and that the earth is flat.

Will Cuppy
Alexander III of Macedonia was born in 356 B. C., on the sixth day of the month of Lous. He is known as Alexander the Great because he killed more people of more different kinds than any other man of his time. [Footnote: He did this in order to impress Greek culture upon them. Alexander was not strictly a Greek and he was not cultured, but that was his story, and who am I to deny it?]

Will Cuppy
Catherine announced that he died of hemorrhoidal colic, and people who went to the funeral wondered why, in that case, the large bandage was tied around his neck. And that, gentle reader, is what comes from playing with dolls at the wrong time.

Will Cuppy
Charlemagne's strong point was morals. He was so moral that some people thought he was only fooling. These people came to no good.

Will Cuppy
Then there's the law that any person found carrying a Swanhook, the same being neither a Swanherd in good standing nor accompanied by two certified Swanherds, or Swannerds (or Swanners, or Swanmasters), of known probity, should cough up thirteen shillings fourpence, three shillings fourpence going to the informer and the rest to the King. This looked like a fine bit of legislation until it developed that you can't collect from such people. They haven't got it. That's why they're out stealing Swans.

Will Cuppy
The Bayeux Tapestry is accepted as an authority on many details of life and the fine points of history in the eleventh century. For instance, the horses in those days had green legs, blue bodies, yellow manes, and red heads, while the people were all double-jointed and quite different from what we generally think of as human beings.

Will Cuppy
Charlemagne lived away back in the Dark Ages when people were not very bright. They have been getting brighter and brighter ever since, until finally they are like they are now.

Will Cuppy