Jasper Fforde Quotes

80 Sourced Quotes

I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer.

Jasper Fforde
Lesson one in time travel, Thursday. First of all, we are all time travellers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day.

Jasper Fforde
The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.

Jasper Fforde
You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library. She pointed to the shelf opposite. Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.

Jasper Fforde
Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.

Jasper Fforde
Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.

Jasper Fforde
Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.

Jasper Fforde
It wasn't going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn't deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn't scare me as much as it used to.

Jasper Fforde
I don't need you to agree with me," she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt. Doubt is good. It's an emotion we can build on. Perhaps if we feed it with curiosity it will blossom into something useful, like suspicion - and action.

Jasper Fforde
Don't move," said Sprockett."Mimes don't generally attack unless they are threatened.

Jasper Fforde
Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Jasper Fforde
Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the dying rays of the setting sun or the boom and swish of the incoming tide, we should reserve as much praise for ourselves as for the author. After all, the reader is doing all the work - the writer might have died long ago.

Jasper Fforde
Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

Jasper Fforde
You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.

Jasper Fforde
I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.

Jasper Fforde
If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.

Jasper Fforde
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Jasper Fforde
Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.

Jasper Fforde
To espresso or to latte, that is the question...whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain...or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache...

Jasper Fforde
Prejudice is a product of ignorance that hides behind barriers of tradition.

Jasper Fforde
If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.

Jasper Fforde
Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.

Jasper Fforde
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just... well, differently moraled, that's all.

Jasper Fforde
"Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question."

Jasper Fforde
You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack. 'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.' 'So what did he say?' 'I don't know.' 'I thought you said you spoke gibberish?' 'I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking either pre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect of gobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.' 'Oh.

Jasper Fforde
That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.

Jasper Fforde
Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of antiquarian books. 'Impressive, eh?' 'Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amass all these?' 'Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrows books and never gives them back?' 'Yes...?' 'I'm that person.

Jasper Fforde
The neanderthal experiment was simultaneously the high and low point of the genetic revolution. Successful in that a long-dead cousin of Homo sapien was brought back from extinction, yet a failure in that the scientists, so happy to gaze upon their experiments from their ever lofty ivory towers, had not seen so far as to consider the social implications that a new species of man might command in a world unvisited by their like for over 30 millennia. It was little surprise that so many neanderthals felt confused and unprepared for the pressures of modern life. It was Homo sapien at his least sapient.

Jasper Fforde
Being written by someone who might not quite understand the subconscious nuance of the character leaves us in varying degrees of flatness.

Jasper Fforde
Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

Jasper Fforde