Jasper Fforde - Lost in a Good Book (2002)

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The neanderthal experiment was simultaneously the high and low point of the genetic revolution. Successful in that a long-dead cousin of Homo sapien was brought back from extinction, yet a failure in that the scientists, so happy to gaze upon their experiments from their ever lofty ivory towers, had not seen so far as to consider the social implications that a new species of man might command in a world unvisited by their like for over 30 millennia. It was little surprise that so many neanderthals felt confused and unprepared for the pressures of modern life. It was Homo sapien at his least sapient.

Jasper Fforde
Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.

Jasper Fforde
Lesson one in time travel, Thursday. First of all, we are all time travellers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day.

Jasper Fforde
It wasn't going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn't deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn't scare me as much as it used to.

Jasper Fforde
Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics; nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.

Jasper Fforde
Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.

Jasper Fforde
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, O'er a plan to venge myself upon that cursed Thursday Next- This Eyre affair, so surprising, gives my soul such loath despising, Here I plot my temper rising, rising from my jail of text. Get me out! I said, advising, Pluck me from this jail of text- or I swear I'll wring your neck!

Jasper Fforde
You nearly killed eight people!" I managed to gasp out loud. "My count was closer to twelve," returned Havisham as she opened the door. "And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.

Jasper Fforde
Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.

Jasper Fforde
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Jasper Fforde
Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.

Jasper Fforde
Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just... well, differently moraled, that's all.

Jasper Fforde
I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

Jasper Fforde
…Tell me, has anything odd happened to you recently? What do you mean, odd?' Unusual. Deviating from the customary. Something outside the usual parameters of normalcy. An occurrence of unprecedented weird.

Jasper Fforde
What's the opposite of déjà vu, when you see something that hasn't happened yet? I don't know—avant verrais?

Jasper Fforde
We all make mistakes at some time in our lives, some more than others. It is only when the cost is counted in human lives that people really take notice.

Jasper Fforde
If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad —

Jasper Fforde
Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds.

Jasper Fforde
Without a yardstick sometimes the high points can be taken for granted.

Jasper Fforde
The universe always moves from an ordered state to a disordered one; that a glass may fall to the ground and shatter yet you never see a broken glass reassemble itself and then jump back on the table.

Jasper Fforde
Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.

Jasper Fforde
I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.

Jasper Fforde
The industrial age had only just begun; the planet had reached its Best Before date.

Jasper Fforde