Jasper Fforde Quotes

80 Sourced Quotes

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good—and we all know how rare that is...

Jasper Fforde
…Tell me, has anything odd happened to you recently? What do you mean, odd?' Unusual. Deviating from the customary. Something outside the usual parameters of normalcy. An occurrence of unprecedented weird.

Jasper Fforde
What's the opposite of déjà vu, when you see something that hasn't happened yet? I don't know—avant verrais?

Jasper Fforde
For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.

Jasper Fforde
The landscape inside Lord of the Rings was so stunning and so stupendous that it could be absorbed as a form of nourishment.

Jasper Fforde
I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.

Jasper Fforde
Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

Jasper Fforde
We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired.

Jasper Fforde
If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hundred merits, and all you have to do is take a look.' 'I understand there's a one hundred percent fatality rate?' 'True. But up until the moment of death there was a one hundred percent survival rate. Really, I shouldn't let anything as meaningless as statistics put you off.

Jasper Fforde
We all make mistakes at some time in our lives, some more than others. It is only when the cost is counted in human lives that people really take notice.

Jasper Fforde
I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

Jasper Fforde
Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought—and more reading.

Jasper Fforde
Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.

Jasper Fforde
After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more.

Jasper Fforde
A missing arm might ruin your symmetry. Personal asymmetry where I come from is a big taboo and brings great shame on the family and sometimes even the whole village." "Do you then have to kill yourself over it or something?" "Goodness me, no! The family and village just have to learn to be ashamed—and nuts to them for being so oversensitive.

Jasper Fforde
If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad —

Jasper Fforde
Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds.

Jasper Fforde
Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.

Jasper Fforde
Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.

Jasper Fforde
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer's day, a long-running sitcom, one's life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?

Jasper Fforde