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Standing here, in this quiet house where I can hear the birds chirping out back, I think I'm kind of getting the concept of closure. It's no big dramatic before-after. It's more like that melancholy feeling you get at the end of a really good vacation. Something special is ending, and you're sad, but you can't be that sad because, hey, it was good while it lasted, and there'll be other vacations, other good times.
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Adam lay perfectly still, little groans escaping from his lips. I looked at the bow, looked at my hands, looked at Adam's face and felt this surge of love, lust, and an unfamiliar feeling of power.
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But what if Shakespeare― and Hamlet― were asking the wrong question? What if the real question is not whether to be, but how to be?
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He kissed me hard. "Promise me. Promise me you'll spend New Year's with me next year," he whispered into my ear.
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The bow is so old, its horsehair is glue Sent to the factory, just like me and like you So how come they stayed your execution? The audience roars its standing ovation Dust,
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So are you moving on now? Is that what brought you to the grand metropolis of Valladolid? No. The wind just blew me here. What? Like a plastic bag? I prefer to think of myself as a ship. Like a sailboat.
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Her eyes flutter up to meet mine. Are you hungry? she asks. Am I ever.
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The politeness was painful. I wanted to push through it, to return to the glow of the night of the concert, but I was unsure of how to get back there.
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I like French fries," I say. I like French fries? I sound like a slow child in a made-for-TV movie.
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I've been feeling something else. Like I'm about to be sucked into something powerful and painful.
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I might have been eleven years old and a little socially immature, but I recognized a gauntlet being thrown down when I saw it, and I had no choice but to take it up.
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In the calculus of feelings, you never really know how one person's absence will affect you more than another's.
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Adam is crying and somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I'm feeling things at last. I'm feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill.
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Okay, maybe this was the meant to be: the universe I knew, loved nothing more than balance.
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It's a good thing Kerry's dead, because that funeral would've sent him over the edge," Henry said.
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I have a feeling that once you live through something like this, you become a little bit invincible.
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It would've been easier to die. It's not that I want to be dead now. I don't. I have a lot in my life that I get satisfaction from, that I love. But some days, especially in the beginning, it was so hard. And I couldn't help but think that it would've been so much simpler to go with the rest of them. But you—you asked me to stay. You begged me to stay. You stood over me and you made a promise to me, as sacred as any vow.
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Are you happy in your misery? Resting peaceful in desolation? It's the final tie that binds us The sole source of my consolation" blue
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Except even at the start, when we were in that can't-get-enough-of-you-phase, there was like some invisible wall between us. At first I tried to take it down, but it took so much effort to even make cracks. And then I got tired of trying. Then I justified it. This was just how adult relationships were, how love felt once you had a few battle scars.
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And then Adam Wilde shows up at Carnegie Hall on the biggest night of my career, and it felt like more than a coincidence. It felt like a gift. From them. For my first recital ever, they gave me a cello. And for this one, they gave me you.
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How can it be so unclear to her when it's like the fingers on my hand to me?
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And I kissed him back so hard, like I was trying to merge our bodies through our lips.
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Quitting's not hard. Deciding to quit is hard. Once you make that mental leap, the rest is easy. Really? Was that how you quit me?
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If I stay. If I live. It's up to me. All this business about medically induced comas is just doctor talk. It's not up to the doctors. It's not up to the absentee angels. It's not even up to God who, if He exists, is nowhere around right now. It's up to me.
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I understood all that in my head, but I still didn‟t believe it in my heart.
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I don't know who I am. Or maybe I do know who I am and I just don't want to be her anymore.
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She's still beautiful. Not in an obvious Vanessa LeGrande or Byrn Shraeder kind of way. In a quiet way that's always been devastating to me.
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My stomach lurched, an appetizer before the full portion of heartache I had a feeling was going to be served at some point soon.
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Sometimes the best way to find out what you're supposed to do is by doing the thing you're not supposed to do.
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Stains are even worse when you're the only one who can see them.
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Quote of the day
Every word she writes is a lie, including 'and' and 'the'.
Mary McCarthy
Gayle Forman
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Born:
June 5, 1970
(age 54)
Bio:
Gayle Forman is an American young adult fiction author, best known for her novel If I Stay which topped the New York Times best sellers list of Young Adult Fiction and was made into a film of the same name.
Known for:
If I Stay (2009)
Where She Went (2011)
Just One Day (2013)
Just One Year (2013)
Just One Night (2014)
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