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The bow is so old, its horsehair is glue Sent to the factory, just like me and like you So how come they stayed your execution? The audience roars its standing ovation Dust,
Gayle Forman
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So are you moving on now? Is that what brought you to the grand metropolis of Valladolid? No. The wind just blew me here. What? Like a plastic bag? I prefer to think of myself as a ship. Like a sailboat.
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Her eyes flutter up to meet mine. Are you hungry? she asks. Am I ever.
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The politeness was painful. I wanted to push through it, to return to the glow of the night of the concert, but I was unsure of how to get back there.
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I like French fries," I say. I like French fries? I sound like a slow child in a made-for-TV movie.
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I've been feeling something else. Like I'm about to be sucked into something powerful and painful.
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I might have been eleven years old and a little socially immature, but I recognized a gauntlet being thrown down when I saw it, and I had no choice but to take it up.
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In the calculus of feelings, you never really know how one person's absence will affect you more than another's.
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Adam is crying and somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I'm feeling things at last. I'm feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill.
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Okay, maybe this was the meant to be: the universe I knew, loved nothing more than balance.
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Part of me knows one more day won't do anything except postpone the heartbreak. But another part of me believes differently. We are born in one day. We die in one day. We can change in one day. And we can fall in love in one day. Anything can happen in just one day.
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It feels like the city is telling secrets down here, privy only to those who think to listen.
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Suddenly, it's all too much. Bryn and the bump watch. Vanessa with my high school yearbook. The idea that nothing's sacred. Everything's fodder. That my life belongs to anyone but me.
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You were so busy trying to be my savior that you left me all alone.
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That's the thing you never expect about grieving, what a competition it is.
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I know that unlike that night, tonight I won't kiss her. Or touch her. Or even see her up close. Tonight, I'll listen. And that'll be enough.
Gayle Forman
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I can't imagine what it would be like to have had her company in my head—the comfort that would've brought.
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Willem, I suspect deep down you know exactly why you're here, exactly what you want, but you're unwilling to the wanting, let alone the having. Because both of those propositions are terrifying.
Gayle Forman
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You know, I thought about that a lot these last couple of years," She says in a choked voice. "About who was there for you. Who held your hand while you grieved for all that you'd lost?
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Forward momentum. That's my new motto. No regrets. And no going back.
Gayle Forman
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I can keep picking small fights, or brave the big one. Time to screw my courage. Or go down trying.
Gayle Forman
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You meet people, you part ways, sometimes you cross paths again. Mostly, you don't.
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Because if time can be fluid, then maybe something that is just one day can go on indefinitely
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I'm also starting to wonder something else. If maybe the point of this crazy quest I'm on wasn't to help me find Willem. Maybe it was to help me find someone else entirely.
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Because for that day, I really did become Lulu. Maybe not from the film or the real Louise Brooks, but my own idea of what Lulu represented. Freedom. Daring. Adventure. Saying yes.
Gayle Forman
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Quote of the day
Be a sinner and sin strongly, but more strongly have faith and rejoice in Christ.
Martin Luther
Gayle Forman
Creative Commons
Born:
June 5, 1970
(age 53)
Bio:
Gayle Forman is an American young adult fiction author, best known for her novel If I Stay which topped the New York Times best sellers list of Young Adult Fiction and was made into a film of the same name.
Known for:
If I Stay (2009)
Where She Went (2011)
Just One Day (2013)
Just One Year (2013)
Just One Night (2014)
Most used words:
day
love
find
life
feeling
years
hard
time
kind
kiss
felt
lost
open
willem
lips
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