Finley Peter Dunne Quotes

56 Sourced Quotes

If a man is wise, he gets rich, an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

Finley Peter Dunne
A law, Hinnissey, that might look like a wall to you or me wud look like a triumphal arch to th'expeeryenced eye iv a lawyer.

Finley Peter Dunne
"He made [money]," said Mr. Dooley, "because he honestly loved it with an innocint affiction. He was thrue to it. Th' reason ye have no money is because ye don't love it f'r itsilf alone. Money won't iver surrinder to such a flirt."

Finley Peter Dunne
Vice... is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.

Finley Peter Dunne
Ivry sick man is a hero, if not to th' wurruld or aven to th' fam'ly, at laste to himsilf.

Finley Peter Dunne
No wan cares to hear what Hogan calls "Th' short an' simple scandals iv th' poor."

Finley Peter Dunne
There is wan thing, an' on'y wan thing, to be said in favour iv dhrink, an' that is that it has caused manny a lady to be loved that otherwise might've died single.

Finley Peter Dunne
"D' ye think th' colledges has much to do with th' progress iv th' wurruld?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "D' ye think," said Mr. Dooley, " 'tis th' mill that makes th' wather run?"

Finley Peter Dunne
The newspaper does everything for us. It runs the police force and the banks, commands the militia, controls the legislature, baptizes the young, marries the foolish, comforts the afflicted, afflicts the comfortable, buries the dead and roasts them afterwards...

Finley Peter Dunne
There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivry week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

Finley Peter Dunne
Afther lookin' the candydates over, said Mr. Dooley, an' studyin' their qualifications carefully, I can't truthfully say that I see a prisidintial possibility in sight

Finley Peter Dunne
I think a lie with a purpose is wan iv th' worst kind an' th' mos' profitable.

Finley Peter Dunne
Th' dead ar-re always pop'lar. I knowed a society wanst to vote a monyment to a man an' refuse to help his fam'ly, all in wan night.

Finley Peter Dunne
The mission of a modern newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

Finley Peter Dunne
Th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf.

Finley Peter Dunne
Among men, Hinnissy, wet eye manes dhry heart.

Finley Peter Dunne
'Twas founded be th' Puritans to give thanks f'r bein' presarved fr'm th' Indians, an'…we keep it to give thanks we are presarved fr'm th' Puritans.

Finley Peter Dunne
This home iv opporchunity where ivry man is th' equal iv ivry other man befure th' law if he isn't careful.

Finley Peter Dunne
If you live enough before thirty you won't care to live at all after fifty.

Finley Peter Dunne
A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels be an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.

Finley Peter Dunne
"I think," said Mr. Dooley, "that if th' Christyan Scientists had some science an' th' doctors more Christianity, it wudden't make anny diff'rence which ye called in—if ye had a good nurse."

Finley Peter Dunne
'Tis as hard f'r a rich man to enther th' kingdom iv Hiven as it is f'r a poor man to get out iv Purgatory.

Finley Peter Dunne
But th' best thing about a little judicyous swearin' is that it keeps th' temper. 'Twas intinded as a compromise between runnin' away an' fightin'. Befure it was invinted they was on'y th' two ways out iv an argymint.

Finley Peter Dunne
No matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

Finley Peter Dunne
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks th' Lord wud do if He knew th' facts iv th' case.

Finley Peter Dunne
I've seen a game iv cards start among frinds, but I never see frinds in a game iv cards.

Finley Peter Dunne