Finley Peter Dunne Quotes

56 Sourced Quotes

Th' prisidincy is th' highest office in th' gift iv th' people. Th' vice-prisidincy is th' next highest an' th' lowest. It isn't a crime exactly. Ye can't be sint to jail f'r it, but it's a kind iv a disgrace. It's like writin' anonymous letters.

Finley Peter Dunne
If ye live enough befure thirty ye won't care to live at all afther fifty.

Finley Peter Dunne
Mickrobes is a vigitable, an' ivry man is like a conservatory full iv millyons iv these potted plants.

Finley Peter Dunne
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription?

Finley Peter Dunne
Though I have patches on me pantaloons, I've ne'er a wan on me intestines.

Finley Peter Dunne
A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.

Finley Peter Dunne
Whin a man's sick, he's sick an' nawthin' will cure him or annything will.

Finley Peter Dunne
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.

Finley Peter Dunne
When 'tis an aven thing in th' prayin', may th' best man win... an' th' best man will win.

Finley Peter Dunne
I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.

Finley Peter Dunne
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

Finley Peter Dunne
To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.

Finley Peter Dunne
Th' Turkey bur-rd's th' rale cause iv Thanksgivin'. He's th' naytional air. Abolish th' Turkey an' ye desthroy th' tie that binds us as wan people.

Finley Peter Dunne
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

Finley Peter Dunne
Hogan's r-right whin he says: "Justice is blind." Blind she is, an' deef an' dumb an' has a wooden leg.

Finley Peter Dunne
Miracles are laughed at be a nation that r-reads thirty millyon newspapers a day an' supports Wall sthreet.

Finley Peter Dunne
A man's idea in a card game is war — cruel, devastating and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

Finley Peter Dunne
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Finley Peter Dunne
Th' raypublican party broke ye, but now that ye're down we'll not turn a cold shoulder to ye. Come in an' we'll keep ye—broke.

Finley Peter Dunne
I don't think we injye other people's sufferin', Hinnissy. It isn't acshally injyement. But we feel betther f'r it.

Finley Peter Dunne
In England a man is presoomed to be innocent till he's proved guilty an' they take it f 'r granted he's guilty. In this counthry a man is presoomed to be guilty ontil he's proved guilty an' afther that he's presoomed to be innocent.

Finley Peter Dunne
Life'd not be worth livin' if we didn't keep our inimies.

Finley Peter Dunne
"Ye ra-aly do think dhrink is a nicissry evil?" said Mr. Hennessy. "Well," said Mr. Dooley, "if it's an evil to a man, it's not nicissry, an' if it's nicissry it's an evil."

Finley Peter Dunne
A man's idee in a card game is war—crool, devastatin', an' pitiless. A lady's idee iv it is a combynation iv larceny, embezzlement, an' burglary.

Finley Peter Dunne
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that now and then he can have a good opinion of himself undisturbed by the facts.

Finley Peter Dunne