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The people we get along with, trust, feel simpatico with, are the strongest links in our networks
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Simply paying attention allows us to build an emotional connection. Lacking attention, empathy hasn't a chance.
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Worries typically follow such lines, a narrative to oneself that jumps from concern to concern and more often than not includes catastrophizing, imagining some terrible tragedy. Worries are almost always expressed in the mind's ear, not its eye - that is, in words, not images - a fact that has significance for controlling worry.
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Daydreaming defeats practice; those of us who browse TV while working out will never reach the top ranks. Paying full attention seems to boost the mind's processing speed, strengthen synaptic connections, and expand or create neural networks for what we are practicing.
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The more time you put into practicing, then, the greater the payoff.
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We should spend less time ranking children and more time helping them to identify their natural competencies and gifts, and cultivate those.
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Doggedness depends on emotional traits - enthusiasm and persistence in the face of setbacks - above all else.
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Green is a process, not a status. We need to think of 'green' as a verb, not an adjective.
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There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.
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School success is not predicted by a child's fund of facts or a precocious ability to read as much as by emotional and social measures; being self-assured and interested: knowing what kind of behavior is expected and how to rein in the impulse to misbehave; being able to wait, to follow directions, and to turn to teachers for help; and expressing needs while getting along with other children.
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A leader tuned out of his internal world will be rudderless; one blind to the world of others will be clueless; those indifferent to the larger systems within which they operate will be blindsided.
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Goal directed self-imposed delay of gratification is perhaps the essence of emotional self-regulation: the ability to deny impulse in the service of a goal, whether it be building a business, solving an algebraic equation, or pursuing the Stanley Cup.
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Emotional self-control is NOT the same as overcontrol, the stifling of all feeling and spontaneity....when such emotional suppression is chronic, it can impair thinking, hamper intellectual performance and interfere with smooth social interaction. By contrast, emotional competence implies we have a choice as to how we express our feelings.
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For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when emotions hold sway.
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The emotional brain is highly attuned to symbolic meanings and to the mode Freud called the 'primary process' - the messages of metaphor, story, myth, the arts.
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What seems to set apart those at the very top of competitive pursuits from others of roughly equal ability is the degree to which, beginning early in life, they can pursue an arduous practice routine for years and years.
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People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for the failure, ascribing it to some characteristic they are helpless to change.
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Risk taking and the drive to pursue innovative ideas are the fuel that stokes the entrepreneurial spirit.
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Great leaders, the research shows, are made as they gradually acquire, in the course of their lives and careers, the competencies that make them so effective. The competencies can be learned by any leader, at any point.
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Who does not recall school at least in part as endless dreary hours of boredom punctuated by moments of high anxiety?
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When the darkness is seen as a necessary prelude to the creative light, one is less likely to ascribe frustration to personal inadequacy or label it as bad.
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The human brain is by no means fully formed at birth. It continues to shape itself through life, with the most intense growth occurring during childhood.
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It is difficult to spread the contagion of excitement without having a sense of purpose and direction.
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In the new workplace, with its emphasis on flexibility, teams and a strong customer orientation, this crucial set of emotional competencies is becoming increasingly essential for excellence in every job in every part of the world.
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Our genetic heritage endows each of us with a series of emotional set-points that determines our temperament. But the brain circuitry involved is extraordinarily malleable; temperament is not destiny.
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Quote of the day
No written law has ever been more binding than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
Carrie Chapman Catt
Daniel Goleman
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Born:
March 7, 1946
(age 78)
Bio:
Daniel Jay Goleman is an author, psychologist, and science journalist. For twelve years, he wrote for The New York Times, specializing in psychology and brain sciences.
Known for:
Emotional Intelligence (1995)
Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence (2013)
Working with Emotional Intelligence (1998)
Primal Leadership (2002)
Social Intelligence (2006)
Most used words:
emotional
intelligence
self
feelings
empathy
people
life
mind
emotions
relationships
skills
awareness
knowing
capacity
abilities
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