Authors
Topics
Lists
Pictures
Resources
More about Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore Quotes
108 Sourced Quotes
Source
Report...
Fornication with your daughters thats like a double dog sin.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't. Trust me, I was there. I know.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
There's a fine edge to new grief, it severs nerves, disconnects reality—there's mercy in a sharp blade. Only with time, as the edge wears, does the real ache begin.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
You should feel what it is like to pleasure a falcon. You lock talons with her in the sky and do it while you both are falling like meteors. You would like it; they never complain if you come too fast.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Charlie had Sophie strapped to his chest like a terrorist baby bomb when he came down the back steps. She had just gotten to the point where she could hold up her head, so he had strapped her in face-out so she could look around. The way her arms and legs waved around as Charlie walked, she looked as if she was skydiving and using a skinny nerd as a parachute.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Kayso, it turns out that driving an actual car is way harder than it is in 'Grand Theft Auto: Zombie Hooker Smackdown.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair..
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Even a mentally challenged shark would figure out that sea turtles did not wear boxer shorts printed in flying piggies, and no sea turtle would be yattering streams of obscenities between chain-smoker gasps of breath.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a police car.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
I think there was always some scrawny dreamer sitting at the edge of the firelight, who had the ability to imagine dangers, to look into the future in his imagination and see possibilities, and therefore survived to pass his genes on to the next generation.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Just because he was pretty didn't mean he couldn't be improved by a smack upside the head with a piece of earnest hickory
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want everyone calling security. You're always supposed to have a towel. I read about it in a guide for hitchhiking through the galaxy.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring — much like a doctor's waiting room.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
It turns out that one can perpetrate all manner of heinous villainy under a cloak of courtesy and good cheer...a man will forfeit all sensible self-interest if he finds you affable enough to share your company over a flagon of ale.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
If they'd been dogs, they would have all been in the yard eating grass and trying to yak up whatever was making them feel so lousy. Not a bone gnawed, not a ball chased-all tails went unwagged. Oh, life is a fast cat, a short leash, a flea in that place where you just can't scratch.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Moses should have said "Let my people go. Please."
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
She doesn't understand that a writer is a special creature—that I'm different from everyone else. I'm not saying I'm superior to other people, just more sensitive, I guess.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs?" -Tommy
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of "Tangled Up in Blue" in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well, you know, Bob Dylan.
Christopher Moore
Source
Report...
One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
Christopher Moore
1
2
3
4
5
Quote of the day
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
Lady Randolph Churchill
Christopher Moore
Creative Commons
Born:
January 1, 1957
(age 67)
Bio:
Christopher Moore is an American writer of comic fantasy. He was born in Toledo, Ohio. He grew up in Mansfield, Ohio, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for:
A Dirty Job (2006)
Bloodsucking Fiends (1995)
Secondhand Souls: A Novel (2015)
Practical Demonkeeping (1992)
Most used words:
charlie
life
love
man
head
people
eating
christmas
time
feel
felt
underworld
turns
case
door
Christopher Moore on Wikipedia
Suggest an edit or a new quote
Christopher Moore Quotes
Christopher Moore Short Quotes
American Novelist Quotes
Novelist Quotes
20th-century Novelist Quotes
Related People
Kurt Vonnegut
American Playwright
Carl Hiaasen
American Journalist
Featured Authors
Lists
Predictions that didn't happen
If it's on the Internet it must be true
Remarkable Last Words (or Near-Last Words)
Picture Quotes
Confucius
Philip James Bailey
Eleanor Roosevelt
Letitia Elizabeth Landon
Popular Topics
life
love
nature
time
god
power
human
mind
work
art
heart
thought
men
day
×
Lib Quotes