Bob Hope Quotes

32 Sourced Quotes

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bob Hope
Nobody in Beverly Hills grows old. It's a violation of a city ordinance.

Bob Hope
I was on the way to my hotel, and I passed a hotel going in the opposite direction.

Bob Hope
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?

Bob Hope
Commenting John F. Kennedy's victory in Wisconsin:
A triumph for democracy. It proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anybody else.

Bob Hope
Of Audiences:
They were really tough—they used to tie their tomatoes on the end of a yo-yo, so they could hit you twice.

Bob Hope
I remember one of my staff asking me when I was going to retire. I said when I could no longer hear the sound of laughter. He said, 'That never stopped you before.'

Bob Hope
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

Bob Hope
When I wake up in the morning, I don't feel anything until noon, and then it's time for my nap.

Bob Hope
How did you get into that dress – with a spray gun?

Bob Hope
Jack Benny really liked my book. I know because he called me up from the library and told me.

Bob Hope
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

Bob Hope
Rock and roll is catching on all over... France... England... They even have it in Japan, only over there they call it judo.

Bob Hope
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

Bob Hope
Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Bob Hope
As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell.

Bob Hope
Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent... he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

Bob Hope
It was a typically British birth... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward... I came out in sympathy.

Bob Hope
I was happy when I first heard Ronald Reagan was running for the presidency. I've always thought, once you're in show business you should stay in it.

Bob Hope
You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents extra, I come around to your house personally and wet your finger while you're turning the pages.

Bob Hope
I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap.

Bob Hope
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.

Bob Hope
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Bob Hope
My parents were English. We were too poor to be British.
On his British origins

Bob Hope
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope
I know I'm in England because this morning, my stomach got up two hours before I did and had a cup of tea! I've had so much tea, I slosh when I walk! You have to drink tea - I've tasted the coffee!

Bob Hope
I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.

Bob Hope
Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

Bob Hope
Thanks to our brave allies: you gallant Russian bear, you British everywhere.

Bob Hope
I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

Bob Hope