Australian Comedian Quotes

Tim Minchin

Barry Humphries

Justin Heazlewood

Carl Barron

Everyone's got the same insecurities as you
Everyone's got the same insecurities as you
Believe me it is true
You are not alone
There's no need to feel blue
Everyone's got the same insecurities as you
Believe me it is true
Do not be afraid
To show people the real you.

Justin Heazlewood

Dame Edna to Judy Steel:

Tell me the history of that frock, Judy. It's obviously an old favourite. You were wise to remove the curtain rings.

Barry Humphries

I only work every couple of years. I go into retirement between films.

I'll never forget the day my mum said "Carl when I was your age I used to go to the movies with a bottle of water and some Sao's." I was thinking "Shit. Mum's a loser." Imagine trying to crack onto someone at the movies. "G'day darl. Got a packet of Sao's. Wash it down with a bottle of water."

You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? - Medicine.

There's only two times in life, there's now and there's too late.

My mother doesn't like sex. She doesn't like the word, she doesn't like act, and I'm not entirely sure she's too impressed with the results. Ah well, you get out what you put in.