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The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world.
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Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn't entirely there.
"You haven't heard of the Bay of Mante, have you?" he said. "No, sir," said Mort.
"Famous Shipwreck there."
"Was there?"
"There will be," said Death, "if I can find the damn place."
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An ancient proverb summed it up when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life.
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This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do.
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A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.
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Although she was aware that somewhere under her complicated strata of vests and petticoats there was some skin, that didn't mean to say she approved of it.
Terry Pratchett
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Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility. Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle. Do what you must do. Never lie, but you don't always have to be honest. Never wish. Especially don't wish upon a star, which is astronomically stupid. Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.
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My name is immaterial,' she said. That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.
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But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy of gold, the fairy dream that the gold is there, at the end of the rainbow, and will continue to be there forever - provided, naturally, that you don't go and look. This is known as finance.
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I live in a city. I know sparrows from starlings. After that everything's a duck as far as I'm concerned.
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'You're not going to die, are you sir?' he said.
'Of course I am. Everyone is. That's what being alive is all about.'
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The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
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Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no.
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I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind...
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You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?
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That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next.
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Granny Weatherwax, who had walked nightly without fear in the bandit-haunted forests of the mountains all her life in the certain knowledge that the darkness held nothing more terrible than she was...
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Tragic heroes always moan when the gods take an interest in them, but it's the people the gods ignore who get the really tough deals
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Nerds are the only people who know how to operate the video recorder.
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Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn't trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.
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After all, when you seek advice from someone it's certainly not because you want them to give it. You just want them to be there while you talk to yourself.
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It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country," he read. "This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.
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Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr.
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What you have here is an example of that well known phenomenon, A Bookshop Assistant Who Knows Buggerall But Won't Admit It (probably some kind of arts graduate).
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Some people believe that when you die, you cross the River of Death and have to pay the ferryman. People don't seem to worry about that these days. Perhaps there's a bridge now.
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Quote of the day
In a word I was a pioneer, and therefore had to blaze my own trail.
Marshall Taylor
Terry Pratchett
Creative Commons
Born:
April 28, 1948
Died:
March 12, 2015
(aged 66)
Bio:
Sir Terence David John "Terry" Pratchett was an English author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.
Known for:
The Colour of Magic (1983)
The Shepherd's Crown (2015)
The Wee Free Men (2003)
Good Omens (1990)
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