Terry Pratchett Quotes

756 Sourced Quotes

Alzheimer's is me, unwinding, losing trust in myself, a butt of my own jokes and on bad days capable of playing hunt the slipper by myself and losing. You can't battle it, you can't be a plucky survivor. It steals you from yourself.

Terry Pratchett
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

Terry Pratchett
The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

Terry Pratchett
The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.

Terry Pratchett
I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.

Terry Pratchett
It was a backwards memory of an event in his future so terrifying that it had generated harmonics of fear all the way along his lifeline.

Terry Pratchett
He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.

Terry Pratchett
I know three people who have got better after a brain tumour. I haven't heard of anyone who's got better from Alzheimer's.

Terry Pratchett
Unlike wizards, who like nothing better than a complicated hierarchy, witches don't go in much for the structured approach to career progression. It's up to each individual witch to take on a girl to hand the area over to when she dies. Witches are not by nature gregarious, at least with other witches, and they certainly don't have leaders.
Granny Weatherwax was the most highly-regarded of the leaders they didn't have.

Terry Pratchett
Anyway, just because you're sworn enemies doesn't mean you can't be friends, does it?

Terry Pratchett
It was written in some holy book, apparently, so that made it okay, and probably compulsory.

Terry Pratchett
Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.

Terry Pratchett
Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.

Terry Pratchett
Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers!" She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: "Socks wi'oot feets?

Terry Pratchett
Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found a reason not to be.

Terry Pratchett
Go anywhere you wish, talk to everyone. Ask any questions; you will be given answers. When you want to learn, you will be taught. Use the library. Open any book.

Terry Pratchett
The secret is not to dream," she whispered. "The secret is to wake up. Waking up is harder. I have woken up and I am real. I know where I come from and I know where I'm going. You cannot fool me any more. Or touch me. Or anything that is mine.

Terry Pratchett
Legends don't have to make sense. They just have to be beautiful. Or at least interesting.

Terry Pratchett
You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. Besides you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs.

Terry Pratchett
Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.

Terry Pratchett
I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors.

Terry Pratchett
The trouble with life was that you didn't get a chance to practice before doing it for real.

Terry Pratchett
'What would Deftmenes be if we went around obeying orders all the time?'
'They might be ruling the Carpet,' said Pismire.
'Ha!' said Brocando, 'but the trouble about obeying orders is, it becomes a habit. And then everything depends on who's giving the orders.'

Terry Pratchett
See a pin and pick it up, and, all day long, you'll have a pin.

Terry Pratchett
It was so loud and so deep, it wasn't really sound at all, just something that turned the air hard and then hit you with it.

Terry Pratchett
The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for a very rare, complex and unpleasant disease. I last saw him at a Discworld convention, where he chose to take part in a game as an assassin. He died not long afterwards, and I wish I had his fortitude and sense of style.

Terry Pratchett
Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.

Terry Pratchett
There was a certain something about the air in the city. You got the feeling that it was air that had seen life. You couldn't help noting with every breath that thousands of other people were very close to you and nearly all of them had armpits.

Terry Pratchett
He said it was better to belong where you don't belong than not to belong where you used to belong, remembering when you used to belong there.

Terry Pratchett
It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.

Terry Pratchett