Terry Pratchett - Good Omens (1990)

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But the purpose of the book is not the horror, it is horror's defeat.

Terry Pratchett
There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises.

Terry Pratchett
Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.

Terry Pratchett
He'd been an angel once. He hadn't meant to Fall. He'd just hung around with the wrong people.

Terry Pratchett
All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into Best of Queen albums.

Terry Pratchett
He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were.

Terry Pratchett
All the higher life forms scythed away, just like that. [... ] Nothing but dust and fundamentalists.

Terry Pratchett
Evil in general does not sleep, and therefore doesn't see why anyone else should.

Terry Pratchett
You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?

Terry Pratchett
Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves.

Terry Pratchett
Funny, reely," he said. "You spend your whole life goin' to school and learnin' stuff, and they never tell you about stuff like the Bermuda Triangle and UFOs and all these Old Masters running around the inside of the Earth. Why do we have to learn boring stuff when there's all this brilliant stuff we could be learnin', that's what I want to know.

Terry Pratchett
Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your own home.

Terry Pratchett
I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.

Terry Pratchett
It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing' people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.

Terry Pratchett
Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it.

Terry Pratchett
God does not play games with His loyal servants", said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice. "Whoopee", said Crowley.

Terry Pratchett
The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

Terry Pratchett
Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.

Terry Pratchett
It is possibly worth mentioning at this point that Mr. Young thought that paparazzi was a kind of Italian linoleum.

Terry Pratchett
London was not designed for cars. Come to that, it wasn't designed for people. It just sort of happened. This created problems, and the solutions that were implemented became the next problems, five or ten or a hundred years down the line.

Terry Pratchett
All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel - or if there was, it was an oncoming train.

Terry Pratchett
Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea.

Terry Pratchett
Neither claimed any responsibility for Milton Keynes, but both reported it as a success.

Terry Pratchett
Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

Terry Pratchett
His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.

Terry Pratchett
I don't see what's so triffic about creating people as people and then gettin' upset 'cos they act like people.

Terry Pratchett
He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellised Elba.

Terry Pratchett
Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.' 'Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others. 'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl.

Terry Pratchett
She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.

Terry Pratchett
He'd always known that the world was an interesting place, and his imagination had peopled it with pirates and bandits and spies and astronauts and similar. But he'd also had a nagging suspicion that, when you seriously got right down to it, they were all just things in books and didn't properly exist anymore.

Terry Pratchett