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Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found a reason not to be.
Terry Pratchett
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Stop stealing the funeral meats right now, you wee scuggers!" She shouted. The Feegles stopped and stared at her. Then Rob Anybody said: "Socks wi'oot feets?
Terry Pratchett
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Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.
Terry Pratchett
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Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.
Terry Pratchett
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It was written in some holy book, apparently, so that made it okay, and probably compulsory.
Terry Pratchett
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Anyway, just because you're sworn enemies doesn't mean you can't be friends, does it?
Terry Pratchett
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Unlike wizards, who like nothing better than a complicated hierarchy, witches don't go in much for the structured approach to career progression. It's up to each individual witch to take on a girl to hand the area over to when she dies. Witches are not by nature gregarious, at least with other witches, and they certainly don't have leaders.
Granny Weatherwax was the most highly-regarded of the leaders they didn't have.
Terry Pratchett
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Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it.
Terry Pratchett
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I am certain no one sets out to be cruel, but our treatment of the elderly ill seems to have no philosophy to it. As a society, we should establish whether we have a policy of life at any cost.
Terry Pratchett
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The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.
Terry Pratchett
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It had a very long pendulum, and the pendulum swung with a slow tick-tock that set his teeth on edge, because it was the the kind of delibrate, annoying ticking that wanted to make it abundantly clear that every tick and every tock was stripping another second off your life.
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There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn't rule the world. They're called Witches and Wizards.
Terry Pratchett
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What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.
Terry Pratchett
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In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?
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One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.
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I don't see why it matters what is written. Not when it's about people. It can always be crossed out.
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I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse. "Right you are, sir!" said the sergeant. "Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall!" He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: "But not too hard!
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It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing' people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money.
Terry Pratchett
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No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.
Terry Pratchett
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I'm up to my neck in the real world, every day. Just you try doing your VAT return with a head full of goblins.
Terry Pratchett
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The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.
Terry Pratchett
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The more you think about it, the more amazing the everyday world of human beings becomes: most of it doesn't actually exist at all.
Terry Pratchett
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Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
Terry Pratchett
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It was a backwards memory of an event in his future so terrifying that it had generated harmonics of fear all the way along his lifeline.
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He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.
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Quote of the day
Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds.
George Santayana
Terry Pratchett
Creative Commons
Born:
April 28, 1948
Died:
March 12, 2015
(aged 66)
Bio:
Sir Terence David John "Terry" Pratchett was an English author of fantasy novels, especially comical works. He is best known for his Discworld series of 41 novels.
Known for:
The Colour of Magic (1983)
The Shepherd's Crown (2015)
The Wee Free Men (2003)
Good Omens (1990)
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