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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
Mark Twain
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.
Mark Twain
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I'm the man they call Sudden Death and General Desolation! Sired by a hurricane, dam'd by an earthquake.... When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales! I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder!
Mark Twain
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four..
Mark Twain
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It should, it seems to me, be our pleasure and duty to make those people [the Filipinos] free, and let them deal with their own domestic questions in their own way. And so I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.
Mark Twain
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In the South, the war is what A.D. is elsewhere; they date from it.
Mark Twain
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I beseech your good lordship that order be taken to change this law—oh, let no more poor creatures be visited with its tortures.
Mark Twain
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We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change places with an easy and blessed facility.
Mark Twain
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The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.
Mark Twain
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The first act of the three occupied two hours. I enjoyed that in spite of the singing.
Mark Twain
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I have learned that there lies dormant in the souls of all men a penchant for some particular musical instrument an an unsuspected yearning to play on it, which are bound to wake up an demand attention someday. Therefore you who rail at such that disturb your slumbers with unsuccessful and demoralizing attempts to subjugate a guitar, beware! For sooner or later your own time will come.
Mark Twain
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An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.
Mark Twain
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I was in one of the most grand attitudes I ever struck, with my arm stretched up pointing to the sun. It was a noble effect. You could see the shudder sweep the mass like a wave.
Mark Twain
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Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
Mark Twain
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At bottom he was probably fond of them [Americans], but he was always able to conceal it.
Of Thomas Carlyle
Mark Twain
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Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
Mark Twain
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The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
Mark Twain
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
Mark Twain
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Yes, even I am dishonest. Not in many ways, but in some. Forty-one, I think it is.
Mark Twain
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I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference; it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all — they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me — and this adverb plague is one of them.
Mark Twain
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Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.
Mark Twain
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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.
Mark Twain
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Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Mark Twain
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One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.
Mark Twain
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Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
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Quote of the day
In a word I was a pioneer, and therefore had to blaze my own trail.
Marshall Taylor
Mark Twain
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Born:
November 30, 1835
Died:
April 21, 1910
(aged 74)
Bio:
Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. He wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, the latter often called "The Great American Novel".
Known for:
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884)
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876)
The Innocents Abroad (1869)
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1889)
Life on the Mississippi (1883)
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