Lily Tomlin Quotes

43 Sourced Quotes

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

Lily Tomlin
Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem...
Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.

Lily Tomlin
I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em … the first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen.

Lily Tomlin
If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.

Lily Tomlin
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Lily Tomlin
If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

Lily Tomlin
What if it's boring... or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.

Lily Tomlin
If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than "survival of the fittest." I think a better idea would be "survival of the wittiest." At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.

Lily Tomlin
People think there's some real subversive thing playing against whoever it is; a lot of it is just people who want to go along and get along. And they also want to make money. And the bottom line is, they're going to put out as much stuff as they can — stupid, banal stuff that makes money.

Lily Tomlin
When you talk about yourself for 35 years, first of all, it gets repetitious. And then it seems a little bit excessive, at the least.

Lily Tomlin
Wouldn't it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.

Lily Tomlin
If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.

Lily Tomlin