Jane Wagner Quotes

30 Sourced Quotes

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Jane Wagner
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Jane Wagner
Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want.

Jane Wagner
I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em … the first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen.

Jane Wagner
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it....

Jane Wagner
Being creative without talent is a bit like being a perfectionist and not being able to do anything right.

Jane Wagner
It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Jane Wagner
If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.

Jane Wagner
I'd do better at something creative, and I feel I am somewhat creative, but somehow I lack the talent to go with it.

Jane Wagner
My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work.

Jane Wagner
All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

Jane Wagner
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

Jane Wagner
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Jane Wagner
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying — but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic?

Jane Wagner
If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.

Jane Wagner
When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading.

Jane Wagner
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Jane Wagner
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Jane Wagner
The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you.

Jane Wagner
Think of it as a kind of Hamburger Helper for the boudoir.

Jane Wagner
If you are a human being, you might as well face it. You are going to rub a lot of people the wrong way.

Jane Wagner
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

Jane Wagner
What you try to bury just ends up burying you.

Jane Wagner
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

Jane Wagner
Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem...
Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.

Jane Wagner
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Jane Wagner
If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

Jane Wagner
At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

Jane Wagner
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Jane Wagner
What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch.

Jane Wagner