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Lee Evans (comedian) Quotes

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I love restaurants and that's the thing now, they always boast about now, restaurants, home-made cooking…I don't want home-made cooking, that's why I'm here!

Lee Evans
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Peanuts! What's happened to peanuts! Now every bugger's allergic to peanuts. It's true, you open a packet of peanuts now and a bunch of five year olds in a five mile radius slam to the floor jabbing themselves with fucking adrenaline.

Lee Evans
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My phone will ring at two in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?" I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!

Lee Evans
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Bees. They don't know they've even got a sting. It's like *buzzes*, it's a twat with a shotgun!

Lee Evans
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Some footballers earn a fortune. 30 grand, 40 grand, 90 grand a week, some of them. And then they say stuff in interviews like "I'm not really enjoying the football at the moment." Not enjoying the football? 90 grand a week? I'd be delirious with it! I wouldn't just hug somebody for scoring a goal, I'd shag 'em.

Lee Evans

Quote of the day

It would be a poor thing to be an atom in a world without physicists. And physicists are made of atoms. A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
George Wald

Lee Evans

Lee Evans
Creative Commons

Born: February 25, 1964 (age 61)
Bio: Lee John Martin Evans is a retired British comedian, writer, actor, and musician. He is a director of Little Mo Films, which he had co-directed with the late Addison Cresswell, who was also his agent prior to Cresswell's death in December 2013.
Known for:
  1. MouseHunt (1997)
  2. There's Something About Mary (1998)
  3. The Medallion (2003)
  4. The Fifth Element (1997)
  5. Funny Bones (1995)

WikipediaLee Evans on Wikipedia

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