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I want to collapse. I want to fall on the sidewalk right there and drag myself to the ivy.
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The road to publication is like a churro - long and bumpy, but sweet.
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Did the poet use red to symbolize blood? Anger? Lust? Or is the wheelbarrow simply red because red sounded better than black?
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It's up to the reader to decipher the code, or the words, based on everything they know about life and emotions.
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I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why.
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Because it may seem like a small role now, but it matters. In the end, everything matters.
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There are also the people too bizarre to ignore, like Kyle Simpson. Future male stripper.
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Because what if I got to know you and you turned out to be just like they said? What if you weren't the person I hoped you were? That, more than anything, would have hurt the most.
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Don't give up on me now. I'm sorry. I guess that's an odd thing to say. Because isn't that what I'm doing? Giving up?
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I want to look back. To look over my shoulder and see the Stop sign with huge reflective letters, pleading with Hannah. Stop!
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I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday, he says, but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them.
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But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head.
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And here he is again, yet things feel like they'll never be as easy between us as they once were.
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This time, for the first time, I saw the possibilities in giving up. I even found hope in it.
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I repeat his words in my head. What's going on? What's going on? Oh, well, since you asked, I got a bunch of tapes in the mail today from a girl who killed herself. Apparently, I had something to do with it. I'm not sure what that is, so I was wondering if I could borrow your Walkman to find out. 'Not much,' I say.
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Half of them kept repeating my name, trying to get it right, while the other half laughed. But they were harmless. Fun drunks make a nice addition to any party: Not looking to fight. Not looking to score. Just looking to get drunk and laugh. I remember those guys. Like the mascots of the party. "Clay! Whatcha doon here? Bah-ha-ha-ha!
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Because if I hadn't been so afraid of everyone else, I might have told Hannah that someone cared. And Hannah might still be alive.
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But I need to wake up somehow. Or maybe not. Maybe it's best to get through the day half-asleep. Maybe that's the only way to get through today.
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Justin, honey, you were my very first kiss. My very first hand to hold. But you were nothing more than an average guy. And I don't say that to be mean- I don't. There was just something about you that made me need to be your girlfriend to this day I don't know exactly what that was. But it was there.. and it was amazingly strong. -Thirteen Reasons Why
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And in high school, people are always watching so there's always a reason to pose.
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Josh will begin disappearing into a future where the only place he and I remain friends is on the Internet.
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God, I am freaking out. Maybe he doesn't know. Maybe I just look guilty of something and he's picking up on that.
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If time was a string connecting all of your stories, that party would be the point where everything knots up. And that knot keeps growing and growing, getting more and more tangled, dragging the rest of your stories into it.
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Do you remember the last thing you said to me? The last thing you did to me? And what was the last thing I said to you? Because trust me when I said it I knew it was the last thing I'd ever say.
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That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible.
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Quote of the day
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash
Jay Asher
Creative Commons
Born:
September 30, 1975
(age 48)
Bio:
Jay Asher is an American writer of contemporary novels for teens. He has one major publication in the genre of young adult literature.
Known for:
Thirteen Reasons Why (2007)
The Future of Us (2011)
What Light (2016)
Going Pro with Logic Pro 8 (2008)
Scoring with Logic Pro (2012)
Most used words:
life
time
hannah
wanted
people
thought
school
kiss
trust
hope
love
party
sorry
understand
future
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