Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl (2012)

111 Sourced Quotes

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Red held me at arm's length, grinning. Welcome to the family, Half Moon, he said.

Eoin Colfer
Foaly twitched his tail contentedly. Genius. No point in being humble about it.

Eoin Colfer
I can grow cameras!" she had shrieked at the Brill brothers during one briefing. "Who's to say that despicable centaur Foaly hasn't succeded in splicing surveillance equiptment to plants? So get rid of all the flowers. Rocks, too. I don't trust them. Sullen little blebers.

Eoin Colfer
Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

Eoin Colfer
In the Bernstein Manual there is a short chapter on undercover work. The first line says, in capital letters, AVOID UNDERCOVER WORK.

Eoin Colfer
Maybe I'll keep you. Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis's back with his sword. It'd be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks. I have a trick for you, said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.

Eoin Colfer
Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?

Eoin Colfer
I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.

Eoin Colfer
She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl

Eoin Colfer
Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Eoin Colfer
I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Eoin Colfer
Who can fathom the workings of the criminal mind? I said, trying to sound intelligent.
Well, you, I hope, said April. That is what I'm paying you for.

Eoin Colfer
I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Eoin Colfer
Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Eoin Colfer
Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder.

Eoin Colfer
Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. I remember, she said aloud. You saved me. Artemis smiled back. It never happened, he said.

Eoin Colfer
The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.

Eoin Colfer
We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.

Eoin Colfer
The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.

Eoin Colfer
Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?

Eoin Colfer