Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl (2012)

111 Sourced Quotes

View all Eoin Colfer Quotes
I am so sick of you smart kids. Why can't you just boost cars or steal stuff like normal kids?' 'We do steal stuff. Just bigger stuff.

Eoin Colfer
It was calling me, that button," he offered as his excuse. "I couldn't resist." -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON-

Eoin Colfer
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!

Eoin Colfer
Argh? Pathetic and inarticulate. Nice combination. Your mothers must be so proud.

Eoin Colfer
People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You're a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.

Eoin Colfer
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.

Eoin Colfer
Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.

Eoin Colfer
Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.

Eoin Colfer
Orion nodded, then asked, Dwarf cheese? Cheese made by dwarfs. Oh, said Orion, relieved. They make it. It's not actually... No. What a horrible thought. Exactly.

Eoin Colfer
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.

Eoin Colfer
Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.

Eoin Colfer
I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." "...Where's all the loot?" "That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart." Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four. "You were here to rob me!" "No, I wasn't. How dare you?!

Eoin Colfer
Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said. "Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.

Eoin Colfer
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.

Eoin Colfer
Holly: Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn't there some law that says we get twenty-four? Artemis: I don't think Opal pays much attention to laws.

Eoin Colfer
I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.

Eoin Colfer
The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

Eoin Colfer
No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.

Eoin Colfer
Don't worry. I've been in showbusiness for a long time now - I know how to handle bastards

Eoin Colfer
Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes." "That's professor Moriarty," corrected Foaly. "Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.

Eoin Colfer
There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell.

Eoin Colfer
Holly, do you trust me? Holly groaned. Artemis, don't ask me that. I just know one of your outrageous plans is coming. Do you trust me? Yes, Holly sighed. I do. More than anyone.

Eoin Colfer
If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.

Eoin Colfer
I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.

Eoin Colfer
Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.

Eoin Colfer
Don't hate me forever, Arty," whispered Holly. "I couldn't bear that.

Eoin Colfer
Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

Eoin Colfer
And I will not be beaten by that jackass." "Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass.

Eoin Colfer
Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..."... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?

Eoin Colfer
Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.

Eoin Colfer