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Eoin Colfer -
Artemis Fowl (2012)
111 Sourced Quotes
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I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.
Eoin Colfer
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The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
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How did that go?' he asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?' 'Fabulous,' said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding.
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I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins.
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Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
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The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.
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We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas.
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The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.
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Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. I remember, she said aloud. You saved me. Artemis smiled back. It never happened, he said.
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Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder.
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Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.
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Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
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I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
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Who can fathom the workings of the criminal mind? I said, trying to sound intelligent.
Well, you, I hope, said April. That is what I'm paying you for.
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I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?
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Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team
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She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. -Artemis Fowl
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Red held me at arm's length, grinning. Welcome to the family, Half Moon, he said.
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When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
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And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
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Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
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Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.
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Holly died without a friend to hold her hand. Artemis felt her go, another gift of the magic. He kept on counting, brushing away the tears on his cheeks.
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It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?
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Maybe I'll keep you. Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis's back with his sword. It'd be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks. I have a trick for you, said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun.
Eoin Colfer
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Quote of the day
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
Lady Randolph Churchill
Eoin Colfer
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Born:
May 14, 1965
(age 58)
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