Eoin Colfer - Artemis Fowl (2012)

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Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.

Eoin Colfer
A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

Eoin Colfer
Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.

Eoin Colfer
Grab some caviar from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe the muck they feed us in Bartleby's for ten thousand a term.

Eoin Colfer
You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart. Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.

Eoin Colfer
So, let's make a deal: If you do not voice all the withering comments about the weight or uselessness of this jacket that are no doubt swirling in that big brain of yours, then I will not mention the super-laser episode again. Agreed?" This jacket is really cutting into my shoulders, thought Artemis. And it's so heavy that I could not outrun a slug. But he said, "Agreed.

Eoin Colfer
Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.

Eoin Colfer
This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it. Butler would not give up. Listen to yourself. You sound like a... like a good guy! There's nothing in this for you.

Eoin Colfer
Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut." Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. "I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.

Eoin Colfer
That's the last order I'll ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it.

Eoin Colfer
Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?

Eoin Colfer
I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command.

Eoin Colfer
Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.

Eoin Colfer
So if you're not Artemis Fowl, then who are you?" The boy extended a dripping hand straight up. "My name is Orion. I am so pleased to meet you at last. I am, of course, your servant." Holly shook the proferred hand, thinking that manners were lovely, but she really needed someone cunning and ruthless right now, and this kid didn't appear to be very cunning.

Eoin Colfer
Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Horse. Tasty" "Let's go," said Foaly nervously. "Let's go right now.

Eoin Colfer
Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you. Commander Julius Root

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Eoin Colfer
Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly

Eoin Colfer
Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework. I know magic can be stolen, said Artemis. Because I stole some myself.

Eoin Colfer
When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises.

Eoin Colfer
I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.

Eoin Colfer
The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.

Eoin Colfer
How did that go?' he asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?' 'Fabulous,' said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding.

Eoin Colfer
Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby." This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away.

Eoin Colfer
When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?

Eoin Colfer
And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

Eoin Colfer
Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.

Eoin Colfer
Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.

Eoin Colfer
Holly died without a friend to hold her hand. Artemis felt her go, another gift of the magic. He kept on counting, brushing away the tears on his cheeks.

Eoin Colfer
It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?

Eoin Colfer