Cynthia Heimel Quotes

51 Sourced Quotes

He's got so many love handles he needs a bookmark to find his shorts.

Cynthia Heimel
Never spend more than an hour and a half cleaning your apartment for a fellow.

Cynthia Heimel
A car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!

Cynthia Heimel
Never, ever wear trendy, complicated shoes. Eschew shoes riddled with silver studs, plastic bows, silver ribbons, or anything even remotely adorable.

Cynthia Heimel
'You seem to be reacting to your boyfriend as if he were your father,' your shrink may say stonily (unless she is a strict Freudian, in which case she'll shut up and wait until you think of it yourself, a process that usually takes ten years. This is why strict Freudians have such lovely summer houses).

Cynthia Heimel
You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.

Cynthia Heimel
It is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.

Cynthia Heimel
The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things.

Cynthia Heimel
We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.

Cynthia Heimel
Women are not ladies. The term connotes females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.

Cynthia Heimel
The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.

Cynthia Heimel
Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.

Cynthia Heimel
When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.

Cynthia Heimel
The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.

Cynthia Heimel
I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby Grape) any of us had ever seen. It looked psychedelic, yet it was done by ad people. I believe the word "hype" was coined on that very day.

Cynthia Heimel
'Slut' used to mean a slovenly woman. Now it means a woman who will go to bed with everyone. This is considered a bad thing in a woman, although perfectly fabulous in a man. 'Bitch' means a woman who will go to bed with everyone but you.

Cynthia Heimel
Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.

Cynthia Heimel
Never, under any circumstances, ever go to bed with a man you've just met in a bar. Or any man you hardly know. No matter what.

Cynthia Heimel
Never try to establish a successful flirtation when your hair is a mess.

Cynthia Heimel
Prune these alleged friends ruthlessly from your life. You need all the positive reinforcement you can get. You need friends who think you're fabulous, an angel in human shape, and a breath of springtime.

Cynthia Heimel
All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.

Cynthia Heimel