Will Rogers Quotes

317 Sourced Quotes

Farmers have more Associations, and Bureaus, and Clubs, than they have pitchforks.

Will Rogers
Every day you meet a delegation going to some convention to try and change the way of somebody else's life.

Will Rogers
We were primitive people when I was a kid. There were only a mighty few known diseases. Gunshot wounds, broken legs, toothache, fits, and anything that hurt you from the lower end of your neck down was known as a bellyache.

Will Rogers
Prosperity this Winter is going to be enjoyed by everybody that is fortunate enough to get into the poor farm.

Will Rogers
When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that's all there is to success is satisfaction.

Will Rogers
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.

Will Rogers
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

Will Rogers
We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.

Will Rogers
You politicians have got to look further ahead; you always got a Putter in your hands, when you ought to have a Driver.

Will Rogers
We have been just going like a house afire, and we couldent see any reason why we shouldent keep right on burning. Our tastes were acquired on credit, and we wanted to keep on enjoying 'em on credit.

Will Rogers
We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

Will Rogers
The Senate just sits and waits till they find out what the president wants, so they know how to vote against him.

Will Rogers
I arrived at my hut in Beverly Hills just in time to keep real estate men from plotting off and selling my front yard. They will sell you anything or anybody's in the world as long as they can get a first payment... It used to be only Iowa that was out here but now they have three or four adjoining states interested and they are here, too. Real estate agents - you never saw as many in your life; they are as thick as bootleggers.

Will Rogers
In Europe public men do resign. But here it's a lost art. You have to impeach 'em.

Will Rogers
You have a wonderful organization. I understand you have ten thousand here. And if you count the ones in the various federal prisons, it brings your total membership up to around thirty thousand.

Will Rogers
So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!

Will Rogers
The Supreme Court is divided almost in half on the decisions. Talk about an international court. How would we ever agree with a lot of foreigners when we can't even agree among our own judges?

Will Rogers
Banking and after-dinner speaking are two of the most nonessential industries we have in this country. I am ready to reform, if they are.

Will Rogers
When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I dident like. I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.

Will Rogers
When you straddle a thing it takes a long time to explain it.

Will Rogers
Candidates have been telling you that if elected they would 'pull you from this bog hole of financial misery.' Now is a good chance to get even with 'em, by electing 'em, just to prove what a liar they are.

Will Rogers
Fanatical religion driven to a certain point is almost as bad as none at all, but not quite.

Will Rogers
The minute you read something and you can't understand it, you can be sure it was written by a lawyer. Then, if you give it to another lawyer to read and he don't know just what it means, then you can be sure it was drawn up by a lawyer. If it's in a few words and is plain, and understandable only one way, it was written by a non-lawyer.

Will Rogers
Say did you read in the papers about a bunch of Women up in British Columbia as a protest against high taxes, sit out in the open naked, and they wouldent put their clothes on? The authorities finally turned a Sprayer that you use on trees, on 'em. That may lead into quite a thing. Woman comes into the tax office nude, saying I won't pay. Well they can't search her and get anything. It sounds great. How far is it to British Columbia?

Will Rogers
Land taxes is the thing. They got so high that there is no chance to make anything. Not only land but all property tax. You see in the old days, why the only thing they knew how to tax was land, or a house. Well, that condition went along for quite awhile, so even today the whole country tries to run its revenue on taxes on land. They never ask if the land makes anything. "It's land ain't it? Well tax it then."

Will Rogers
I see by the papers that they are going to do away with all the nuisance taxes. That means that a man can get a marriage license for nothing.

Will Rogers
I bet any Sunday could be made as popular at church as Easter is if you made 'em fashion shows too. The audience is so busy looking at each other that the preacher just as well recite Gunga Din.

Will Rogers
Texas is a great state. It's the 'Old Man River' of states. No matter who runs it or what happens to it politically, it just keeps rolling along!

Will Rogers
Then he turned and exclaimed with a practiced and well-subdued enthusiasm, "It's the Gall-Bladder — just what I was afraid of." Now you all know what the word "afraid of," when spoken by a doctor, leads to. It leads to more calls.

Will Rogers
I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.

Will Rogers