Will Rogers - Congress Quotes

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Papers say: "Congress is deadlocked and can't act." I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.

Will Rogers
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Will Rogers
People ask me where I get my jokes. Why, I just watch Congress and report the facts.

Will Rogers
The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em.

Will Rogers
And kid Congress and the Senate, don't scold 'em. They are just children thats never grown up. They don't like to be corrected in company. Don't send messages to 'em, send candy.

Will Rogers
So when all the yielding and objections is over, the other Senator said, "I object to the remarks of a professional joker being put into the Congressional Record." Taking a dig at me, see? They didn't want any outside fellow contributing. Well, he had me wrong. Compared to them I'm an amateur, and the thing about my jokes is that they don't hurt anybody. You can say they're not funny or they're terrible or they're good or whatever it is, but they don't do no harm. But with Congress — every time they make a joke it's a law. And every time they make a law it's a joke.

Will Rogers
You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.

Will Rogers
Hurray! Congress is to adjourn! Only four more days of Congressional burglary on the Treasury!

Will Rogers
Lobbyists have more offices in Washington than the President. You see, the President only tells Congress what they should do. Lobbyists tell'em what they will do.

Will Rogers
This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.

Will Rogers
Farmers, get out your sense of humor. Congress meets to relieve you again next week.

Will Rogers
See where Congress passed a two billion dollar bill to relieve bankers' mistakes. You can always count on us helping those who have lost part of their fortune, but our whole history records nary a case where the loan was for the man who had absolutely nothing. Our theory is to help only those who can get along, even if they don't get a loan.

Will Rogers
Congress meets tomorrow morning. Let us all pray: Oh Lord, give us strength to bear that which is about to be inflicted upon us. Be merciful with them, oh Lord, for they know not what they're doing. Amen.

Will Rogers