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Conjunctivitis.com — now there's a site for sore eyes.

Tim Vine
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So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Tim Vine
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Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.

Tim Vine
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One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out

Tim Vine

Quote of the day

It was Nietzsche who first made us conscious of the significance of the individual as a term in the evolutionary process-in that part of the evolutionary process which has still to take place.
Herbert Read

Tim Vine

Tim Vine
Creative Commons

Born: March 4, 1967 (age 58)
Bio: Timothy Mark "Tim" Vine is an English writer, actor, comedian and presenter, known for his quick-fire puns and his role on the BBC series Not Going Out until his departure in 2012.
Known for:
  1. Not Going Out (Since 2006)
  2. The Sketch Show (2001 – 2004)
  3. Whittle (1997 – 1998)
  4. Comic Relief Does Fame Academy (Since 2003)
  5. Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle (2009 – 2016)

WikipediaTim Vine on Wikipedia

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If you see what is right and fail to act on it, you lack courage.

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I have a heart with room for every joy.

Philip James Bailey

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive.

Eleanor Roosevelt

A great change in life is like a cold bath in winter — we all hesitate at the first plunge.

Letitia Elizabeth Landon

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