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We met five years ago. Jean scratched his beard. On a sea voyage. We became business partners out of sheer boredom. Since then we've been inseparable.
Except that my plan calls for me to be plotting your death.
Yes, but I don't know that, do I? Boon companion! I suspect nothing.
Chump! I can hardly wait to see you get yours!
Scott Lynch
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Is this man, ah, senile?
He's absolutely competent, she answered coldly.
I assure you I am, roared Cordo. Anger changed his countenance utterly. And I will not be put off from business by assassins in my own bedroom! Now, you will either kill me immediately or negotiate the price of my release!
Scott Lynch
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Liquor does this? Even after you're sober?
A cruel joke, isn't it? The gods put a price tag on everything, it seems.
Scott Lynch
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Remember when I told you, for the first time? You nearly threw me off the roof—
I thought you deserved it. You know, it's an opinion I return to from time to time, whether or not a roof is available.
You're a difficult woman, Sabetha. But then, difficult women are the only ones worth falling in love with.
How would you know? It's not like you've ever been after anyone else—
That part's easy. I started with the most difficult woman possible, so there was never any need to look any further.
You're trying to be charming. She squeezed his hand once, then pulled away. I choose not to be entirely charmed, Locke Lamora.
Not entirely?
Not entirely. Not yet.
Scott Lynch
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The sun is up, and all that money out there won't steal itself.
Scott Lynch
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You're taking the world awfully personally. Didn't Chains ever tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?
The what?
The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition.
What is it?
He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular.
I'm just old enough to find that distressingly accurate.
You see? It's universal, said Locke.
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They'll be fine, and wiser for the experience. Young minds are brittle. Oldsters, now, we've had some disappointments. We've set aside the notion that we're the center of the universe, so our minds bend with strain instead of meeting it head-on.
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This entire situation is insane. Jean slammed his book shut in disgust.
It was insane before; now it's become malicious.
Scott Lynch
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Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.
Scott Lynch
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That's a sweet piece, said Jean, briefly forgetting to be aggravated. You didn't snatch that off a street.
No, said Locke, before taking another deep draught of the warm water in the decanter. I got it from the neck of the governor's mistress.
You can't be serious.
In the governor's manor.
Of all the—
In the governor's bed.
Damned lunatic!
With the governor sleeping next to her... It is possible, said Locke with a sheepish grin, that I have been slightly too bold.
Scott Lynch
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I don't want you to agree with me; I want you to use your misplaced acorn of a brain before the squirrel comes looking for it again.
Scott Lynch
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My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it
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Damn it, when will you learn that refusing to admit you've lost isn't the same as winning?
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There were difficulties.
Oh, she said, so you're the man whose life develops complications! I've so longed to meet you; the rest of us here in this world have it much too easy, I'm afraid.
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Enlightenment! When it comes, it comes like a brick to the head, doesn't it?
Scott Lynch
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You needed a bath, Jean interrupted. You were covered in self-pity.
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Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind
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Most of us find it starkly ludicrous that the height of all possible ambition, to the ungifted, must be to drape oneself in crowns and robes.
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What kind of knife is this? Locke held a rounded buttering utensil up for Chains' inspection. It's all wrong. You couldn't kill anyone with this.
Scott Lynch
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My responsibility was to tell you the truth, not wrap you in swaddling clothes. She raised her hood again, half-veiling her face in shadow. Nor protect you from your own badly aimed temper.
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We were sent here to learn from you!
You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit.
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I make it a point never to trust men with weapons to my windpipe.
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When you see the crooked Warden," said Locke, twisting something in his hands, "tell hi that Lock Lamora learns slowly, but he learns well. And when you see my friends, you tell them that there are more of you on the way.
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People die when they get hanged. It's why they hang them!
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Master Kosta... What a pleasure! Selendri tells me you've expressed an interest in getting killed.
Scott Lynch
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Quote of the day
No longer shall I paint interiors with men reading and women knitting. I will paint living people who breathe and feel and suffer and love.
Edvard Munch
Scott Lynch
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Born:
April 2, 1978
(age 46)
Bio:
Scott Lynch is an American fantasy author, best known for his Gentleman Bastard series of novels. He resides in Western Wisconsin in the city of New Richmond.
Known for:
The Lies of Locke Lamora (2006)
The Republic of Thieves (2013)
The Bastards and the Knives
Red Seas Under Red Skies (2007)
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