Scott Lynch Quotes

100 Sourced Quotes

Nikoros, your job this afternoon is to say yes to anything that comes out of my mouth. The more you rehearse this, the sooner it'll become a smooth mechanical process allowing no time for painful reflection. Can you practice for me?
Yes.
You're a natural.

Scott Lynch
Oh, gods, he cried. Oh, gods protect me! It's you!
Of course it's me, said Locke. You just don't know who the hell I am yet.

Scott Lynch
Some mysteries are better off with their throats slit.

Scott Lynch
Here's to charming losers, I suppose.
If only we knew where to find some.

Scott Lynch
Our patron has always sort of danced upon the notion that austerity and piety go hand in hand; down here, we show our appreciation for things by appreciating, if you get me.

Scott Lynch
Only gods-damned fools die for lines drawn on maps.

Scott Lynch
Worst of all, the inner vault is guarded by a live dragon, attended by fifty naked women armed with poisoned spears, each of them sworn to die in Requin's service. All redheads. -You're just making that up, Jean.

Scott Lynch
We already know how too—
I don't care what you think you know, Kosta. Until further notice, we're gonna presume that you're too dumb to count to one.

Scott Lynch
The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet.

Scott Lynch
What do you have to say to that?
Oh, very little, to be sure, Master Kosta. It's so hard to think, overawed as I am with the sublime genius of your plan.
That bears some vague resemblance to sarcasm.
God forfend, said Jean. You wound me! Your inexpressible criminal virtues have triumphed again, as inevitably as the tides come and go. I cast myself at your feet and beg for absolution. Yours is the genius that nourishes the heart of the world.
And now you're—
If only there was a leper handy, interrupted Jean, so you could lay your hands on and magically heal him.

Scott Lynch
I can't live forever. Each time something like this affair lands in my lap, I suddenly recall that I don't want to live forever.

Scott Lynch
You can't help being young, but it's past time that you stopped being stupid.

Scott Lynch
That's not worth worrying about. If pressed I'll use the never-fail universal apology.
What's the n-never-fail universal apology?
'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.'

Scott Lynch
Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.

Scott Lynch
Let's be obvious. Me brute, you weasel.
Agreed. You brute, me charming mastermind.

Scott Lynch
I can't name the poison that's killing your friend. But the one that's killing you is called hope.

Scott Lynch
It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming.

Scott Lynch
There's no freedom quite like the freedom of being constantly underestimated.

Scott Lynch
If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.

Scott Lynch
Time went by with all the speed of a sleepless night.

Scott Lynch
We met five years ago. Jean scratched his beard. On a sea voyage. We became business partners out of sheer boredom. Since then we've been inseparable.
Except that my plan calls for me to be plotting your death.
Yes, but I don't know that, do I? Boon companion! I suspect nothing.
Chump! I can hardly wait to see you get yours!

Scott Lynch
Is this man, ah, senile?
He's absolutely competent, she answered coldly.
I assure you I am, roared Cordo. Anger changed his countenance utterly. And I will not be put off from business by assassins in my own bedroom! Now, you will either kill me immediately or negotiate the price of my release!

Scott Lynch
Liquor does this? Even after you're sober?
A cruel joke, isn't it? The gods put a price tag on everything, it seems.

Scott Lynch
Remember when I told you, for the first time? You nearly threw me off the roof—
I thought you deserved it. You know, it's an opinion I return to from time to time, whether or not a roof is available.
You're a difficult woman, Sabetha. But then, difficult women are the only ones worth falling in love with.
How would you know? It's not like you've ever been after anyone else—
That part's easy. I started with the most difficult woman possible, so there was never any need to look any further.
You're trying to be charming. She squeezed his hand once, then pulled away. I choose not to be entirely charmed, Locke Lamora.
Not entirely?
Not entirely. Not yet.

Scott Lynch
The sun is up, and all that money out there won't steal itself.

Scott Lynch
You're taking the world awfully personally. Didn't Chains ever tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?
The what?
The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition.
What is it?
He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular.
I'm just old enough to find that distressingly accurate.
You see? It's universal, said Locke.

Scott Lynch
They'll be fine, and wiser for the experience. Young minds are brittle. Oldsters, now, we've had some disappointments. We've set aside the notion that we're the center of the universe, so our minds bend with strain instead of meeting it head-on.

Scott Lynch
This entire situation is insane. Jean slammed his book shut in disgust.
It was insane before; now it's become malicious.

Scott Lynch
Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.

Scott Lynch
That's a sweet piece, said Jean, briefly forgetting to be aggravated. You didn't snatch that off a street.
No, said Locke, before taking another deep draught of the warm water in the decanter. I got it from the neck of the governor's mistress.
You can't be serious.
In the governor's manor.
Of all the—
In the governor's bed.
Damned lunatic!
With the governor sleeping next to her... It is possible, said Locke with a sheepish grin, that I have been slightly too bold.

Scott Lynch