Scott Lynch - The Republic of Thieves (2013)

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Thank you very much, sir, said Beth with nothing resembling actual gratitude.

Scott Lynch
Push your luck, gorgeous, and eventually luck pushes back.

Scott Lynch
Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone... not even to ourselves.

Scott Lynch
You're trying to be charming again, she said softly, but I do not choose to be charmed, Locke Lamora.

Scott Lynch
I'm going to give you a thorough examination. This may cause some discomfort, but don't complain. I won't be listening.

Scott Lynch
In my dreams I sign chits and file papers, Nikoros muttered. Then I awake to sign real chits and file real papers. I imagine my grave marker will be carved as a writing desk. 'Here lies Nikoros Via Lupa, wifeless and heirless, but gods how he could alphabetize!'

Scott Lynch
You know, believe it or not, 'the gods will provide' is not a fucking plan, lad. You've got one hell of a talent for improvisation, but when that lets you down, it lets you down hard.

Scott Lynch
Yes, I like it a lot, it's all worth having to bathe, even!
Hmmm, said Chains. You live long enough for your stones to drop, then tell me if bathing is really such a hardship when the young women around you have bosoms that are more than theoretical.
What? When my what?
Never mind. That subject will be sufficiently confusing in its own good time.

Scott Lynch
Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time.

Scott Lynch
You need money that badly?
As a tool, certainly. Its application is simple and universally effective.

Scott Lynch
Are you smarter than a pig, Locke? On occasion, said Locke. There are contrary opinions.

Scott Lynch
What happened wasn't fair!
Fair? You mean to claim with a straight face that you buy into that heresy, my boy?

Scott Lynch
Why the hell are you here?
A matter of conscience.
Really? said Locke. Yours? You keep alluding to its existence. Somehow I'm not convinced.

Scott Lynch
I can't name the poison that's killing your friend. But the one that's killing you is called hope.

Scott Lynch
Let's be obvious. Me brute, you weasel.
Agreed. You brute, me charming mastermind.

Scott Lynch
Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius.

Scott Lynch
That's not worth worrying about. If pressed I'll use the never-fail universal apology.
What's the n-never-fail universal apology?
'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.'

Scott Lynch
Sabetha threw her own shoes and costume components on the tiles near the bath. She retained only her black hose and a dressing gown. Locke did his best to look like he wasn't staring, and she did an admirable job of pretending she wasn't encouraging him.

Scott Lynch
Nikoros, your job this afternoon is to say yes to anything that comes out of my mouth. The more you rehearse this, the sooner it'll become a smooth mechanical process allowing no time for painful reflection. Can you practice for me?
Yes.
You're a natural.

Scott Lynch
You can knock down kingdoms on a whim. What you need is someone to make sure you don't get hit by a carriage when you cross the street.

Scott Lynch
Are you really that arrogant, that logic is as optional as a fashion accessory for you?

Scott Lynch
We like what we like, we want what we want, and nobody needs to give us permission to feel that way!

Scott Lynch
I never would've thought—
Don't think, said Locke. I'm paid to do that for you.

Scott Lynch
We were sent here to learn from you!
You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit.

Scott Lynch
My responsibility was to tell you the truth, not wrap you in swaddling clothes. She raised her hood again, half-veiling her face in shadow. Nor protect you from your own badly aimed temper.

Scott Lynch
Most of us find it starkly ludicrous that the height of all possible ambition, to the ungifted, must be to drape oneself in crowns and robes.

Scott Lynch
Damn it, when will you learn that refusing to admit you've lost isn't the same as winning?

Scott Lynch
My disinterest in your bullshit is so tangible you could make bricks out of it

Scott Lynch
They'll be fine, and wiser for the experience. Young minds are brittle. Oldsters, now, we've had some disappointments. We've set aside the notion that we're the center of the universe, so our minds bend with strain instead of meeting it head-on.

Scott Lynch
You're taking the world awfully personally. Didn't Chains ever tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?
The what?
The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition.
What is it?
He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular.
I'm just old enough to find that distressingly accurate.
You see? It's universal, said Locke.

Scott Lynch