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Rodney Dangerfield - Doctor Quotes

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My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Rodney Dangerfield
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I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.

Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.

Rodney Dangerfield
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What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.

Rodney Dangerfield
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I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

Rodney Dangerfield
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With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.

Rodney Dangerfield

Quote of the day

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow.
Orison Swett Marden

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield
Creative Commons

Born: November 22, 1921
Died: October 5, 2004 (aged 82)
More about Rodney Dangerfield...

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