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Ogden Nash Quotes
185 Sourced Quotes
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When smut's to be smitten
Smoot will smite
For G-d, for country,
And Fahrenheit.
Ogden Nash
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The one-l lama, He's a priest. The two-l llama, He's a beast. And I will bet A silk pajama There isn't any three-l lllama.
Ogden Nash
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The manatee is harmless And conspicuously charmless. Luckily the manatee Is quite devoid of vanity.
Ogden Nash
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So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else.
Ogden Nash
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The armadillo lives inside A corrugated plated hide. Below the border this useful creature Of tidy kitchens use a feature, For housewives use an armadillo To scour their pots, instead of Brillo.
Ogden Nash
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Is something for which science has no name. I can think of nothing eerier Than flying around with an unidentified red glow on a person's posterior.
Ogden Nash
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Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.
Ogden Nash
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I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.
Ogden Nash
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The python has, and I fib no fibs, 318 pairs of ribs. In stating this I place reliance On a séance with one who died for science. This figure is sworn to and attested; He counted them while being digested.
Ogden Nash
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Aunt Betsy was fixing to change her will, And would have left us out in the chill. Glossina morsitans bit Aunt Betsy Tsk, tsk, tsetse.
Ogden Nash
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One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor.
Ogden Nash
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Tell me, O Octopus, I begs, Is those things arms, or is they legs? I marvel at thee, Octopus; If I were thou. I'd call me Us.
Ogden Nash
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Myself, I rather like the bat, It's not a mouse, it's not a rat. It has no feathers, yet has wings, It's quite inaudible when it sings. It zigzags through the evening air And never lands on ladies' hair, A fact of which men spend their lives Attempting to convince their wives.
Ogden Nash
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For half a century, man and nipper, I've doted on a tasty kipper, But since I am no Jack the Ripper I wish the kipper had a zipper.
Ogden Nash
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I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.
Ogden Nash
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Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it.
Ogden Nash
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The toucan's profile is prognathous, Its person is a thing of bathos. If even I can tell a toucan I'm reasonably sure that you can.
Ogden Nash
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The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions
Ogden Nash
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He was an eminent etymologist, which is to say he knew nothing but bugs. He could tell the Coleoptera from the Lepidoptera, And the Aphidae and the Katydididae from the Grasshoptera.
Ogden Nash
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The clam, esteemed by gourmets highly, Is said to live the life of Riley; When you are lolling on a piazza It's what you are as happy as a.
Ogden Nash
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Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.
Ogden Nash
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This creature fills its mouth with venom And walks upon its duodenum. He who attempts to tease the cobra Is soon a sadder he, and sobra.
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How many Scientists have written The shark is gentle as a kitten! Yet this I know about the shark: His bite is worser than his bark.
Ogden Nash
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The grackle's voice is less than mellow, His heart is black, his eye is yellow, He bullies more attractive birds With hoodlum deeds and vulgar words, And should a human interfere, Attacks that human in the rear. I cannot help but deem the grackle An ornithological debacle.
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A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.
Ogden Nash
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Quote of the day
Now if the harvest is over, And the world cold, Give me the bonus of laughter, As I lose hold.
John Betjeman
Ogden Nash
Born:
August 19, 1902
Died:
May 19, 1971
(aged 68)
Bio:
Frederic Ogden Nash was an American poet well known for his light verse. At the time of his death in 1971, The New York Times said his "droll verse with its unconventional rhymes made him the country's best-known producer of humorous poetry".
Known for:
The Tale of Custard the Dragon (1936)
The Best of Ogden Nash
The adventures of Isabel (1963)
Selected Poetry of Ogden Nash
The pocket book of Ogden Nash (1955)
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Ogden Nash on Wikipedia
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