Ogden Nash Quotes

185 Sourced Quotes

But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them,
With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to
people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.

Ogden Nash
I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable.

Ogden Nash
My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky;
Contrariwise, my blood runs cold
When little boys go by.
For little boys as little boys,
No special hate I carry,
But now and then they grow to men,
And when they do, they marry.
No matter how they tarry,
Eventually they marry.
And, swine among the pearls,
They marry little girls.

Ogden Nash
The clam, esteemed by gourmets highly, Is said to live the life of Riley; When you are lolling on a piazza It's what you are as happy as a.

Ogden Nash
Home is heaven and orgies are vile,
But you need an orgy once in a while.

Ogden Nash
Smite, Smoot,
Be rugged and rough,
Smut if smitten
Is front-page stuff.

Ogden Nash
Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.

Ogden Nash
I've also proved by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

Ogden Nash
Senator Smoot is an institute
Not to be bribed with pelf;
He guards our homes from erotic tomes
By reading them all himself.

Ogden Nash
Most bankers dwell in marble halls,
Which they get to dwell in because they encourage deposits and discourage withdrawals,
And particularly because they all observe one rule which woe betides the banker who fails to heed it,
Which is you must never lend any money to anybody unless they don't need it.

Ogden Nash
There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze,
And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees,
And they certainly annoy each other,
But they certainly enjoy each other,
Yes, they pretend to flout each other,
But they couldn't do without each other...

Ogden Nash
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.

Ogden Nash
Maybe I couldn't be dafter,
But I keep wondering if this time we couldn't settle our differences before a war instead of after.

Ogden Nash
Oh, than to enjoy a storm like this
There's nothing I would rather,
Don't dive between the blankets, Miss!
Or else leave room for Father.

Ogden Nash
It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin.

Ogden Nash
Oh, why does man pursue the smelt? It has no valuable pelt, It boasts of no escutcheon royal, It yields not ivory or oil, Its life is dull, its death is tame, A fish as humble as its name. Yet — take this salmon somewhere else, And bring me half a dozen smelts.

Ogden Nash
The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,
How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you!
Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.
Isabel didn't scream or scurry.

Ogden Nash
I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

Ogden Nash
The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire.

Ogden Nash
It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,
That all sin is divided into two parts.
One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important
And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you oughtn't...

Ogden Nash
The trouble with a kitten is
THAT
Eventually it becomes a
CAT.

Ogden Nash
Tonight's December thirty-first,
Something is about to burst…
Hark, it's midnight, children dear.
Duck! Here comes another year!

Ogden Nash
O Adolescence, O Adolescence,
I wince before thine incandescence.
Thy constitution young and hearty
Is too much for this aged party.

Ogden Nash
The manatee is harmless And conspicuously charmless. Luckily the manatee Is quite devoid of vanity.

Ogden Nash
Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's annointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Ogden Nash