Ogden Nash Quotes

185 Sourced Quotes

You scour the Bowery, ransack the Bronx,
Through funeral parlors and honky-tonks.
From river to river you comb the town
For a place to lay your family down.

Ogden Nash
Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was.

Ogden Nash
The further through life I drift
The more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

Ogden Nash
It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin.

Ogden Nash
The trouble with a kitten is
THAT
Eventually it becomes a
CAT.

Ogden Nash
Whether elected or appointed
He considers himself the Lord's annointed,
And indeed the ointment lingers on him
So thick you can't get your fingers on him.

Ogden Nash
If you should happen after dark
To find yourself in Central Park
Ignore the paths that beckon you
And hurry, hurry to the zoo
And creep into the tiger's lair.
Frankly you'll be safer there.

Ogden Nash
The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,
How do, Isabel, now I'll eat you!
Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.
Isabel didn't scream or scurry.

Ogden Nash
Tonight's December thirty-first,
Something is about to burst…
Hark, it's midnight, children dear.
Duck! Here comes another year!

Ogden Nash
Man is a victim of dope
In the incurable form of hope.

Ogden Nash
May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party's over.

Ogden Nash
Husbands are things that wives have to
get used to putting up with.
And with whom they breakfast with
and sup with.

They interfere with the discipline of nurseries,
And forget anniversaries,
And when they have been particularly remiss,
They think they can cure everything
with a great big kiss.

Ogden Nash
Oh, than to enjoy a storm like this
There's nothing I would rather,
Don't dive between the blankets, Miss!
Or else leave room for Father.

Ogden Nash
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

Ogden Nash
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.

Ogden Nash
The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.

Ogden Nash
I think that comparisons are truly odious, I do not approve of this constant proud or envious to-do;
And furthermore, dear friends, I think that you and yours are delightful and I also think that me and mine are delightful too.

Ogden Nash
Other people, and it doesn't matter if they are Scandinavians or Celts,
Think that anything is better than theirs just because it belongs to somebody else.

Ogden Nash
These are enlightened days in which you can get hot water and cold water out of the same spigot,
And everybody has something about which they are proud to be broad-minded but they also have other things about which you would be wasting your breath if you tried to convince them that they were a bigot.

Ogden Nash
When smut's to be smitten
Smoot will smite
For G-d, for country,
And Fahrenheit.

Ogden Nash
The Ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs.

Ogden Nash
Miranda in Miranda's sight
Is old and gray and dirty;
Twenty-nine she was last night;
This morning she is thirty.

Ogden Nash
You don't need to interpret tea leaves stuck in a cup
To understand that people who work sitting down
Get paid more than people who work standing up.

Ogden Nash
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Ogden Nash
The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,
He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.

Ogden Nash
A young person is a person with nothing to learn
One who already knows that ice does not chill and fire does not burn...
It knows it can spend six hours in the sun on its first
day at the beach without ending up a skinless beet,
And it knows it can walk barefoot through the barn
without running a nail in its feet....
Meanwhile psychologists grow rich
Writing that the young are ones' should not
undermine the self-confidence of which.

Ogden Nash
How pleasant to sit on the beach,
On the beach, on the sand, in the sun,
With ocean galore within reach,
And nothing at all to be done!.

Ogden Nash
I've also proved by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

Ogden Nash
A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

Ogden Nash
The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire.

Ogden Nash