Kinky Friedman Quotes

53 Sourced Quotes

As a general rule of thumb, however, if you thought of New York as a Negro talking to himself and of California as a VCR with nothing to put in, you wouldn't be too far off the mark.

Kinky Friedman
In New York nobody really regarded anybody as dead; we just thought of them as not currently working on a project.

Kinky Friedman
Every great artist should always be ahead of his time and behind on his rent.

Kinky Friedman
The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship.

Kinky Friedman
On the whole, I prefer cats to women because cats seldom use the word 'relationship'.

Kinky Friedman
Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get,

Kinky Friedman
"Poly" means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Kinky Friedman
The guy standing on the tiny stage never missed a chance to take a simple idea and intellectualize it until it disappeared completely.

Kinky Friedman
There are no good lawyers. There may be lady wrestlers and Catholic universities. There may be military intelligence. But a good lawyer is a contradiction in terms.

Kinky Friedman
Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.

Kinky Friedman
If you are firmly enough rooted in your masculinity, it shouldn't bother you much to have a woman on top of you. It's a good deal more relaxing, it's often more satisfying for both parties, and you can see a lot more of what's going on.

Kinky Friedman
They say that death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down a little bit.

Kinky Friedman
I'm not afraid to die.... I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes.

Kinky Friedman
I don't really think I was sheltered. I just think I was out to lunch.

Kinky Friedman
I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

Kinky Friedman
But the most dangerous thing in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.

Kinky Friedman
I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.

Kinky Friedman
Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so much time finding themselves that they lose their taxicabs. They don't see that what kind of napkin you get at a delicatessen is a matter of much significance in the world today. That's why they don't get linen.

Kinky Friedman
Daydreaming while smoking cigars can be a fire hazard. It can be as dangerous as drugs and booze unless you know what you're doing. If you know what you're doing, it can be as safe as walking down the street.

Kinky Friedman
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ.

Kinky Friedman
There are worse things in this world than being lonely, but I didn't ever want to find out what they were. I was used to lonely. Lonely fit me like an old hunting vest. I would wear it in good health.

Kinky Friedman
If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.

Kinky Friedman
True New Yorkers would stand in line only at the Carnegie Delicatessen. Or the lottery. Or the soup kitchen on the Bowery.

Kinky Friedman