Gary Chapman Quotes

43 Sourced Quotes

What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.

Gary Chapman
Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.

Gary Chapman
We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature, we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.

Gary Chapman
Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.

Gary Chapman
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.

Gary Chapman
Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty LOVE TANK.

Gary Chapman
Many couples have never learned the tremendous power of verbally affirming each other.

Gary Chapman
The one who chooses to love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.

Gary Chapman
Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. I really believe that.

Gary Chapman
At the heart of mankind's existence is the desire to be intimate and to be loved by another. Marriage is designed to meet that need for intimacy and love.

Gary Chapman
Others who openly discuss matters of spirituality often ignore the warning signs. They are so in love with each other, enjoy being with each other, and can see themselves making each other happy for the rest of their lives, and they close their eyes to huge differences in their views of spirituality.

Gary Chapman
Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to connect with others. We may be in the presence of people all day long, but we do not always feel connected.

Gary Chapman
When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict. When we listen, understand, and respect each other's ideas, we can then find a solution in which both of us are winners.

Gary Chapman
Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

Gary Chapman
Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.

Gary Chapman
Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.

Gary Chapman
Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage.

Gary Chapman
Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.

Gary Chapman
A child may be "spoiled" by a lack of training or by inappropriate love that gives or trains incorrectly.

Gary Chapman
Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is it best for the person at whom I am angry? The two most constructive options are either to confront the person in a helpful way, or to consciously decide to overlook the matter.

Gary Chapman
The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.

Gary Chapman
Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments, but in relationships

Gary Chapman
True love cannot begin until the "in love" experience has run it's course.

Gary Chapman
I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.

Gary Chapman
What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.

Gary Chapman