Garrison Keillor Quotes

73 Sourced Quotes

Adultery is hard on a small town because it can cause sudden population loss, and usually it's the wrong people who get run out.

Garrison Keillor
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

Garrison Keillor
My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time.

Garrison Keillor
The Book: Man's Chief Weapon Against Tedium. Woman's too.

Garrison Keillor
Ronald Reagan, the President who never told bad news to the American people.

Garrison Keillor
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, You can't say that.

Garrison Keillor
We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives. We get through the Car Crash Age alive and cruise through our early twenties as cool dudes, wily, dashing, winsome... shooting baskets, the breeze, the moon, and then we try to become caring men, good husbands, great fathers, good citizens.

Garrison Keillor
In electronic publishing, they're are no editors and if their are there not very good.

Garrison Keillor
If the government can round up someone and never be required to explain why, then it's no longer the United States of America as you and I always understood it. Our enemies have succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. They have made us become like them.

Garrison Keillor
Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find any book you want and yet live on a quiet tree-lined street with a backyard and send your kids to public school. When a state this good hits the jackpot, it can only be an inspiration to everybody.

Garrison Keillor
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.

Garrison Keillor
There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

Garrison Keillor
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.

Garrison Keillor