Garrison Keillor Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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The Book: Man's Chief Weapon Against Tedium. Woman's too.

Garrison Keillor
Don't worry about the past and don't try to solve the future.

Garrison Keillor
You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

Garrison Keillor
No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.

Garrison Keillor
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor
The little town that time forgot, that the decades cannot improve.

Garrison Keillor
I think the most un-American thing you can say is, You can't say that.

Garrison Keillor
Love has the power to rescue us and not let go, otherwise it isn't love

Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Garrison Keillor
Ronald Reagan, the President who never told bad news to the American people.

Garrison Keillor
The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

Garrison Keillor
I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

Garrison Keillor
I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness...

Garrison Keillor
He was admired for never being at a loss for words and never wasting any either.

Garrison Keillor
Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.

Garrison Keillor
Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.

Garrison Keillor
Life itself is brief, and that is what charges the day with such ridiculous beauty.

Garrison Keillor
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.

Garrison Keillor
A good newspaper is never quite good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

Garrison Keillor
In electronic publishing, they're are no editors and if their are there not very good.

Garrison Keillor
It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my home town, out on the edge of the prairie...

Garrison Keillor
Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

Garrison Keillor
Years ago, manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to be overcome.

Garrison Keillor
You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you.

Garrison Keillor
There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

Garrison Keillor
Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

Garrison Keillor
Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.

Garrison Keillor
Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota.

Garrison Keillor
Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.

Garrison Keillor
People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.

Garrison Keillor