Fran Lebowitz - Time Quotes

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I explained that my schedule could not, at this time, accommodate such a task, seeing as how I was up to my ears in oversleeping, unfounded rumors and superficial friendships.

Fran Lebowitz
Most of my news, I get from the radio news stations. One of the stations' advertising lines is "Give us 22 minutes, we'll give you the world." In 22 minutes, they just have time for the headlines, so they can only really tell you what happened — which, by the way, is the news. They tell you how many people were killed in Iraq today, but they don't then bring on some Republican senator to explain to you how that's good. Or, on the contrary, they don't bring in a bunch of Democrats to tell you why it's bad. They just tell you what happened. That's the news. I am capable of analyzing my own news. What makes these people qualified to analyze my news for me? No matter what side they're on, I never agree with them.

Fran Lebowitz
When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked.... I thought people were going to call me.

Fran Lebowitz
Not writing is more of a psychological problem than a writing problem. All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal.... It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. Especially when it goes on for years. It's much more relaxing actually to work.

Fran Lebowitz
If you don't have children and you don't have a job, you have time for friendship... People who have jobs are not the best friends to have. It's better to be friends with people who are unemployed.

Fran Lebowitz
Perhaps one of the more noteworthy trends of our time is the occupation of buildings accompanied by the taking of hostages. The perpetrators of these deeds are generally motivated by political grievance, social injustice, and the deeply felt desire to see how they look on TV.

Fran Lebowitz
I used to love to write. As a child I used to write all the time. I loved to write up until the second I got my first professional writing job. It turns out it's not that I hate to write. I hate, simply, to work.

Fran Lebowitz
Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.

Fran Lebowitz
Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Fran Lebowitz
In Rome people spend most of their time having lunch. And they do it very well — Rome is unquestionably the lunch capital of the world.

Fran Lebowitz
Twenty-four hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive.

Fran Lebowitz
All the time I'm not writing I feel like a criminal. It's horrible to feel felonious every second of the day. It's much more relaxing actually to write.

Fran Lebowitz
12.35 p.m.—The phone rings. I am not amused. This is not my favourite way to wake up. My favourite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper softly to me at two-thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.

Fran Lebowitz
I believed passionately that Communists were a race of horned men who divided their time equally between the burning of Nancy Drew books and the devising of a plan of nuclear attack that would land the largest and most lethal bomb squarely upon the third-grade class of Thomas Jefferson School in Morristown, New Jersey.

Fran Lebowitz
Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeeddisheartening, particularly when you've ordered scrambled eggs.

Fran Lebowitz
We are all born with a rut radar. Mine is finely wired, a little oversensitive maybe. Perhaps just a bit hyperactive. Twenty steady boyfriends before turning 16, a new best friend 12 times a year, switched college majors every time I met someone who seemed exactly like the sort of person I really, really wanted to be. I'm not fickle. I'm just never there yet.

Fran Lebowitz