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During the past thirty years, the women's movement has supported women to express virtually every feeling women felt. To other women. To Men. To society. Women's feelings became course curriculum, women's studies, TV specials, talk shows, and Lifetime cable. Women's feelings were called both education and entertainment. Men's were repressed until they were called ulcers.
Warren Farrell
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In brief, when women batter, men's first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women's first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison.
Warren Farrell
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The most frequent way men are raped by adult women is "birth control rape."
Warren Farrell
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The weakness of men is the facade of strength; the strength of women is the facade of weakness.
Warren Farrell
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The money men make from their willingness to work the least desirable hours is not a sign of discrimination against women, but a sign of the willingness of mostly married men to lose sleep to support the family as their wife loses sleep to feed the child. A willingness to do the uncomfortable shifts is one reason married men earn more than twice what never-married men earn. Men's contribution, made at night, need not be lost in the dark.
Warren Farrell
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The one-sided funding creates one-sided images that reinforce the press defining as progress an examination of only women's issues. Thus, a quarter century's-worth of studies showing domestic violence against men to be more than equal to domestic violence against women receive so little publicity as to barely make a dent on the public's consciousness.
Warren Farrell
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Men tuned into women but not tuned into their own hurts usually retained the attitude that women needed special protection.
Warren Farrell
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As I looked more carefully at the listening matrix I saw that during the past twenty years we had taken a magnifying glass to the first of these four quadrants, the female experience of powerlessness. I saw I was subconsciously making a false assumption: The more deeply I understood women's experience of powerlessness, the more I assumed men had the power women did not have. In fact, what I was understanding was the female experience of male power.
Warren Farrell
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Helping men express feelings starts with understanding why men don't express them.
Warren Farrell
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Just as women needed the help of the law to enter the workplace in the 20th century, men will need the help of the law to love their children in the 21st century.
Warren Farrell
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Men's immediate path from the Insanity Track to the Sanity Track is in demanding that both sexes have the freedom to strike a balance between homeplace and workplace. Men must expect their wives to financially support them to be fathers as much as they now financially support their wives to be mothers. Women must have our approval to marry the warrior of love rather than the warrior of money.
Warren Farrell
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Unfortunately, the process of gaining money in [a man's] life usually meant alienating the wife in his life. Sometimes this leads to a legal divorce, but more often to a psychological divorce. Which is why a survey of doctors' wives reported in Medical/Mrs. Found the doctors' wives harboring hostility that was 'stunning to behold.' Yet the wives remained married to the doctors. Why? More than anything else, the wives said, they wanted security from marriage… the men, then, were often prostitutes to an illusion of emotional security. At least their wives had the reality of economic security.
Warren Farrell
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Laws with broad definitions of rape are like laws making 55 mile per hour speed limits for men and no speed limits for women.
Warren Farrell
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Both sexes allow men dentists inside our mouths, but, well, have you ever let a man who is a dental hygienist inside your mouth? The man must earn his way to our private places in a way not required of a woman—he must become the doctor or the dentist, or forget it.
Warren Farrell
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Sexual harassment legislation feels unfair to men because if they sued over an ethnic joke, or over a woman discussing pornography or asking them out, they'd be laughed out of the company.
Warren Farrell
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Men are the Rosie-the-Riveters of parenting: They're brought in only when needed, and considered disposable thereafter.
Warren Farrell
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Men tend to put all their emotional eggs in the basket of their wives (or womenfriends), it is difficult for a man to communicate feelings of disappointment to his wife because, if she withdraws, it feels to him like his entire emotional support system has collapsed.
Warren Farrell
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Humans tend to start the process of change by acknowledging themselves—thus blacks asserted black pride and black is beautiful; women declared I am woman, I am strong ; men are saying I am man, I am okay. After a quarter of a century of male bashing, that's not a bad start.
Warren Farrell
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In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We're taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women.
Warren Farrell
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Black men, Indian men, and gay men have all have something in common: They do not provide an economic security blanket for women.
Warren Farrell
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After a divorce, men's biggest fear is, typically, losing their children (women's is poverty).
Warren Farrell
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Because men complained less, we made the false assumption that the complaints women experienced were only women's complaints and, therefore, only women's problems. Which created the rationale for women's problems to be solved – or at least addressed – by public policy.
Warren Farrell
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Most rapes of men occur in prison. But even outside of prison, about 9 percent of reported rapes are against men (probably mostly by men, but no one knows for sure). Even rape outside of prison, then, is about as significant an issue for men as AIDS is for women—about 10 percent of the people dying of AIDS are women. Do we hear more about men being raped or about women getting AIDS?
Warren Farrell
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When men give lines, women learn to not trust men. When women wear makeup, men learn to not trust women. Male lines and female makeup are divorce training.
Warren Farrell
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Single women often fear that the men they are going out with wouldn't be comfortable with less career and more child. Perhaps. If a woman selects a man with a lot of career ambition, she'll get what she selected. The solution? Choose among men who would love to be married to a career woman who valued his being home full-time with the children for a few years. Can't find these men? State your interest on your Match. com profile—the Internet's the best net to catch the right fish. You'll be surprised.
Warren Farrell
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Quote of the day
Autumn burned brightly, a running flame through the mountains, a torch flung to the trees.
Faith Baldwin
Warren Farrell
Creative Commons
Born:
June 26, 1943
(age 80)
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