Victoria Wood Quotes

11 Sourced Quotes

I have been in a youth hostel. I know what they're like. You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.

Victoria Wood
It will be a very traditional Christmas, with presents, crackers, doors slamming and people bursting into tears, but without the big dead thing in the middle.
Of a vegetarian Christmas

Victoria Wood
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down—and a woman is designed to say, 'You took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.

Victoria Wood
All my friends started getting boyfriends. But I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen color biro.

Victoria Wood
Jackie: (very slowly) Take Tube A and apply to Bracket D.
Victoria: Reading it slower does not make it any easier to do.

Victoria Wood
Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

Victoria Wood
I think factories would close down, actually, if it wasn't for working-class people.

Victoria Wood
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a life-saving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

Victoria Wood
I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped but I drove that Peugeot for years.

Victoria Wood
Sexual harassment at work—is it a problem for the self-employed?

Victoria Wood
Everything's getting on top of me. I can't switch off. I've got a self-cleaning oven—I have to get up in the night to see if it's doing it.

Victoria Wood