Sloane Crosley Quotes

43 Sourced Quotes

The nursery rhyme ends when a spider comes along and frightens Miss Muffet straight off her tuffet. I have wondered about what kind of lesson this is for a young girl. If you're eating your curds and whey and a spider comes along, I don't think there's anything wrong with picking up a newspaper, smashing it, and going back to your breakfast.

Sloane Crosley
Not all shabby is chic, just like not every porn actor is a star.

Sloane Crosley
It's never good to fall in love with someone whom you'd have to stab in the eyeballs to elicit a response.

Sloane Crosley
As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.

Sloane Crosley
It's remarkable the logic we'll build around a misapprehension.

Sloane Crosley
The search for one's first professional job is not unlike a magical love potion: when one wants to fall in love with the next thing one sees, one generally does.

Sloane Crosley
In my lame pescetarian defense, it's very hard to be a girl and say you won't eat something. Refuse one plate of bacon-wrapped pork rinds and you're anorexic. Accept them and you're on the Atkins. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and you're bulimic. Best to keep perfectly still and bring an IV of fluids with you to dinner.

Sloane Crosley
I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiot's body.

Sloane Crosley
I spent a lot of time waiting for things to happen to me, which is more or less as pathetic as it sounds.

Sloane Crosley
I thought I'd had another few decades before my noise complaint years.

Sloane Crosley
Time grabs you by the scruff of your neck and drags you forward. You get over it, of course. Everyone was right about that. One mathematically insignificant day, you stop hoping for happiness and become actually happy.

Sloane Crosley
It seemed more and more like something out of a children's book - the butterfly that followed the little girl all the way home to her fifth-floor walk-up. How above-the-law children's books are. Hansel and Gretel (littering, breaking and entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced labor), Snow White (conspiracy to commit murder), Rapunzel (breach of contract).

Sloane Crosley
Friendship is a Spackle in itself. You'll forgive your friends a lot, and if you're a woman, you'll forgive your straight male friends even more. They represent the possibility of mutual toleration between the sexes, a keyhole into the mind of the Other, and the promise of one day meeting someone just like them except that you want to sleep with them.

Sloane Crosley