Scott Adams Short Quotes

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Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad.

Scott Adams
We use only the finest days of the week in this dish.

Scott Adams
My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.

Scott Adams
He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.

Scott Adams
The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to truth.

Scott Adams
We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.

Scott Adams
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

Scott Adams
We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational.

Scott Adams
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

Scott Adams
This sandwich used to include endive, but no one wanted to eat a BELT.

Scott Adams
No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

Scott Adams
Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

Scott Adams
Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else.

Scott Adams
The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.

Scott Adams
You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.

Scott Adams
If you have questions about this salad, give your server the spinach inquisition.

Scott Adams
Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

Scott Adams
The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day

Scott Adams
The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.

Scott Adams
Frankly, I'm suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue.

Scott Adams
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Scott Adams
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.

Scott Adams
The people who think a guy walked on water versus the people who think a horse can fly.

Scott Adams
If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

Scott Adams
People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.

Scott Adams
Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people's hard work is rewarding and faster.

Scott Adams
Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.

Scott Adams
If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

Scott Adams
If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

Scott Adams
I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.

Scott Adams