Sarah Silverman Short Quotes

23 Sourced Quotes

View all Sarah Silverman Quotes
[holds up an egg] This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.

Sarah Silverman
This song brings me back … I was brutally raped to this song.

Sarah Silverman
I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse.

Sarah Silverman
I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

Sarah Silverman
I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.

Sarah Silverman
When God gives you AIDS — and God does give you AIDS — make lemon-AIDS!

Sarah Silverman
I want to get an abortion. But my boyfriend and I are having trouble conceiving.

Sarah Silverman
People who call themselves divas... you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.

Sarah Silverman
That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.

Sarah Silverman
I am diagnosed with not having enough insanely-addictive drugs coursing through my body.

Sarah Silverman
I've sued my manager for sexual harassment. And it's real hard, and a big strain on me. Because he hasn't done anything.

Sarah Silverman
My early trauma was a gift, it turned out, in a vocation where your best headspace is feeling that you have nothing to lose.

Sarah Silverman
I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".

Sarah Silverman
The writers of "Sanford and Son" were so brave in bringing their program to television. I mean, working with all those black people!

Sarah Silverman
I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?

Sarah Silverman
The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s … well, it wouldn't have happened to Jews.

Sarah Silverman
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.

Sarah Silverman
People are always introducing me as "Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne." I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Sarah Silverman
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and then the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people that believe it was the blacks.

Sarah Silverman
I dated a guy who was half-black, but he dumped me because I'm such a loser. Wow, I shouldn't say things like that, I'm such a pessimist … he's actually half-white.

Sarah Silverman
I commend you on all you've done for PETA, wrestling the one-eyed trouser snake with your bare hands, gently cuddling it in your arms, and nurturing it back to health.

Sarah Silverman
Unvisited tombstones, unread diaries, and erased video game high-score rankings are three of the most potent symbols of mankind's pathetic and fruitless attempts at immortality.

Sarah Silverman
I will always try to be happy. I don't think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it's like to be in that very, very dark place. It's not romantic. Not even a little.

Sarah Silverman