Sarah Dessen - The Truth About Forever (2004)

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Events conspired to bring you back to where you'd been. It was what you did then that made all the difference: it was all about potential.

Sarah Dessen
Because now, I didn't care what they thought. It wasn't new, this realization that I would never be like them. What was different now was that I was glad.

Sarah Dessen
It sounded stupid, but of course everything does when you're just getting the bare bones facts, only the basics...

Sarah Dessen
Apologies come in all shapes and sizes. You can give diamonds, candy, flowers, or just your deepest heartfelt sentiment.

Sarah Dessen
Everything always gets crazy at the end. You just have to keep going, regardless of how awful it gets. So that's what I do.

Sarah Dessen
This was always the problem with my mother and me, I suddenly realized. There were so many things we thought we agreed on, but anythign can have two meanings. Like sides of a coin, it just matters how it falls.

Sarah Dessen
This was our common ground, the secret we shared but never spoke aloud. I should have been with him; she should have left him alone. Shoulda, coulda, woulda. It's so easy in the past tense.

Sarah Dessen
That was the hard thing about grief, and the grieving. They spoke another language, and the words we knew always fell short of what we wanted them to say.

Sarah Dessen
That was the thing. You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you, and it just hits you all over again, that shocking.

Sarah Dessen
I took in a breath. "What's the one thing you'd do," I asked. "if you could do anything?" Pass," he said. For a second I was sure I'd heard wrong. "What?" He cleared his throat. "I said, I pass." Why?" He turned his head and looked at me. "Because." Because why?" Because I just do.

Sarah Dessen
It took a lot of work to be perfect. If you didn't want to break a sweat, there was no point in even bothering.

Sarah Dessen
The choices you make now, the people you surround yourself with, they all have the potential to affect your life, even who you are, forever.

Sarah Dessen
There were so many people, so much to navigate, and as the distance fluctuated between us his hand kept slipping, down my arm to my wrist. And maybe he was going to let go as people pressed in on all sides, but all I could think was how when nothing made sense and hadn't for ages, you just have to grab onto anything you feel sure of. So as I felt his fingers loosening around my wrist, I just wrapped my own around them, right, and held on

Sarah Dessen
As for me, I was just trying to get it right, whatever that means. But now I finally felt I was on my way. Everyone had a forever, but given a choice, this would be mine. The one that began in this moment, with Wes, in a kiss that took my breath away, then gave it back - leaving meastounded, amazed and most of all, alive.

Sarah Dessen
The silence wasn't like the ones I'd known lately, though: it wasn't empty as much as chosen. There's a entirely different feel to quiet when you're with some-one else, and at any moment it could be broken. Like the difference between a pause and an ending.

Sarah Dessen
I don't think anyone would think that an ellipsis represents doubt or anything. I think it's more, you know, hinting at the future. What lies ahead.

Sarah Dessen
Because' I repeated, as a breeze blew over us, "sometimes things just happen. That aren't expected. Or on the list." "Such as?" he asked "I don't know," I said, frustrated. "That's the point. It would be out of the blue, taking us by surprise. Something we might not be prepared for." "But we will be prepared," he said, confused. "We'll have the list.

Sarah Dessen
This was just one night, one chance to vary and see where it took me. The fireflies were probably already out: maybe it wasn't just a season or a time but a whole world I'd forgotten. I'd never know until I stepped out into it. So I did.

Sarah Dessen
I don't get it,' Caroline said, bemused. 'She's the only one with wings. Why is that?' There were so many questions in life. You couldn't ever have all the answers. But I knew this one. It's so she can fly,' I said. Then I started to run.

Sarah Dessen
I had stepped into his arms, showing him my raw, broken heart.

Sarah Dessen
It's hard to do," I said. Wes looked at me. "What is?" I swallowed, not sure why I'd said this out loud. "Get it right.

Sarah Dessen
Maybe that's what you got when you stood over your grief, facing it finally. A sense of its depths, its area, the distance across, and the way over or around it, whichever you chose in the end.

Sarah Dessen
Look. We both know life is short, Macy. Too short to waste a single second with anyone who doesn't appreciate and value you.

Sarah Dessen
Maybe you could go backwards and forwards at the same time, but it wasn't easy. You had to want to.

Sarah Dessen
But if something was really important, fate made sure it somehow came back to you and gave you another chance.

Sarah Dessen
So you should remember that, when you're thinking about what other people can deal with. Maybe it's not so bad.

Sarah Dessen
Then I'd crawl back into bed, smelling her all around me, and tell myself that next time, I would lock that window. But I never did.

Sarah Dessen
I would have thought this would make me feel better.. getting to be the one to leave and not the one left behind. But it didn't. Not at all.

Sarah Dessen
Here was a boy who liked flaws, who saw them not as failings but as strengths. Who knew such a person could exist, or what would have happened if we'd found each other under different circumstances? Maybe in a perfect world. But not in this one.

Sarah Dessen
And I wondered if, in the end, this is how all disputes are settled, with a shared silence as things become equal. You take something from me, I take something from you. We all want balance, one way or another.

Sarah Dessen