Rodney Dangerfield - Night Quotes

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I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it.

Rodney Dangerfield

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

Rodney Dangerfield

I went to a fight the other night and an ice hockey game broke out.

Rodney Dangerfield

I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.

Rodney Dangerfield

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.

Rodney Dangerfield

All my wife and I do is fight about sex. The other night, we really had it out. Well, I'll put it this way - I had it out.

Rodney Dangerfield

With sex my wife thinks twice before she turns me down. Yeah, once in the morning and once at night.

Rodney Dangerfield