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When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.
Rodney Dangerfield
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A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower."
Rodney Dangerfield
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My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.
Rodney Dangerfield
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
Rodney Dangerfield
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I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
Jack Kerouac
Rodney Dangerfield
Creative Commons
Born:
November 22, 1921
Died:
October 5, 2004
(aged 82)
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