Rita Rudner - Husband Quotes

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I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.

Rita Rudner

I made a terrible mistake on our honeymoon though. You know what I did? I beat my husband at tennis on our honeymoon. And I just came right out afterwards and asked him "Are we ever going to have sex again?" and he said "Yes, but not with each other."

Rita Rudner

I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way he's going to be in the room when there's a delivery is if there's a pizza involved.

Rita Rudner