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It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior.
Nathaniel Branden
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It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert.
Nathaniel Branden
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Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself.
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It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively—which means to live authentically—is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding—from others and also from themselves.
Nathaniel Branden
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Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.
Nathaniel Branden
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One of the mistakes that Rand makes is that after she condemns a belief or an action, she goes on to tell you the psychology of the person who did it, as if she knows. I focus my judgment on the action and not on the person. My primary interest is: do I admire or dislike this behavior? And there, judgment is important for me. People often attribute all kinds of things to another person, without ever knowing where that person's coming from. Most of the time, I regard the judgment of people as a waste of time. I regard the judgment of behavior as imperative.
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One of the characteristics of love relationships that flower is a relatively high degree of mutual self-disclosure - a willingness to let our partner enter into the interior of our private world and a genuine interest in the private world of that partner. Couples in love tend to show more of themselves to each other than to any other person....
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If you are terrified of making mistakes, you will be reluctant to acknowledge them when you do make them-and therefore you will not correct them.
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Suppose you feel you cannot accept some fact about yourself. Then own your refusal to accept. Own the block. Embrace it fully. And watch it begin to disappear. The principal is this: Begin where you are-accept that. Then change and growth become possible.
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The higher our self-esteem, the stronger the drive to express ourselves, reflecting the sense of richness within. The lower our self-esteem, the more urgent the need to "prove" ourselves or to forget ourselves by living mechanically and unconsciously.
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To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals—to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be—and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.
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For the rational, psychologically healthy man, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality.
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A productive purpose to which you give yourself fully and joyfully is one of the great adventures of life. It is a uniquely human source of happiness.
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Living consciously reflects the conviction that sight is preferable to blindness; that respecting the facts of reality is more satisfying than denying them; that evasion does not make the unreal real or the real unreal; that it is better to correct your mistakes that to pretend they do not exist; and that the more conscious you are of facts bearing on your life and goals, the more wisely and effectively you can act.
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A well-developed sense of self is a necessary if not sufficient condition of your well-being. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration, or despair.
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You have a right to your feelings. Your feelings are there to tell you something, but they are not infallible guides to behavior.
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Taking on responsibilities that properly belong to someone else means behaving irresponsibly toward yourself. You need to know where you end and someone else begins. You need to understand boundaries. You need to know what is and is not up to you, what is and is not in your control, what is and is not your responsibility.
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Anyone who really loves you wants you to be authentic. And anyone who doesn't want you to be authentic doesn't really love you.
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Quote of the day
Destiny is the invention of the cowardly, and the resigned.
Ignazio Silone
Nathaniel Branden
Born:
April 9, 1930
Died:
December 3, 2014
(aged 84)
Bio:
Nathaniel Branden was a Canadian American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem.
Known for:
The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (1994)
The Psychology of Self-Esteem (1969)
Honoring the Self (1983)
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem (1987)
The art of living consciously (1997)
Most used words:
self
esteem
love
desire
judgment
person
reality
people
achievement
man
pass
live
accept
feelings
choose
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